2014-02-17
Original: 2014-02-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (bespectacled, distressed): I've done terrible things. Things I wish I could undo.
Panel 2:
Man: But the shame... the shame is so binding. It feels like it has vested itself in every molecule of my body.
Panel 3:
Man: But the molecules in my body change out almost completely every year, so, the shame molecules are now fanning out across the globe, going into other people's bodies?
Panel 4:
Man: Why, you probably have three molecules of water from the same time in my body the time I begged an ex-suite for sex on Christmas eve!
Panel 5:
Man: So, from a chemical perspective, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Panel 6 (a woman now in frame, looking unimpressed):
Woman: This is the worst first date conversation I've ever heard.
Panel 7:
Man (holding up a small mirror): Really? Well, you'll be partly at fault for it soon.
Votey:
The man, mouth open in a hacking fit, coughs into the air.
Sound: cough! cough!
Man (bespectacled, distressed): I've done terrible things. Things I wish I could undo.
Panel 2:
Man: But the shame... the shame is so binding. It feels like it has vested itself in every molecule of my body.
Panel 3:
Man: But the molecules in my body change out almost completely every year, so, the shame molecules are now fanning out across the globe, going into other people's bodies?
Panel 4:
Man: Why, you probably have three molecules of water from the same time in my body the time I begged an ex-suite for sex on Christmas eve!
Panel 5:
Man: So, from a chemical perspective, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Panel 6 (a woman now in frame, looking unimpressed):
Woman: This is the worst first date conversation I've ever heard.
Panel 7:
Man (holding up a small mirror): Really? Well, you'll be partly at fault for it soon.
Votey:
The man, mouth open in a hacking fit, coughs into the air.
Sound: cough! cough!
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A nervous bespectacled man monologues on what turns out to be a first date. He says he's done terrible things he wishes he could undo, but the shame feels vested in every molecule of his body. Since the body's molecules turn over completely each year, he reasons his 'shame molecules' are now spreading across the globe into other people's bodies, just as he probably shares three water molecules with the time he begged an ex for sex on Christmas eve. He concludes that, chemically, his date should be ashamed of herself. A woman in frame flatly replies that this is the worst first date conversation she's ever heard. He holds up a small mirror and says she'll be 'partly at fault for it soon.' Votey: a close-up of the man coughing into the open air, mouth wide, with a speech bubble reading 'cough! cough!' — implying he's spreading his molecules (and shame) by coughing on her.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.