2014-01-26
Original: 2014-01-26 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A robot with a single round red eye/light on its torso speaks to a man with flame-like hair (named Jon).
Robot: I HAVE NEWS THAT MAY STARTLE YOU, JON.
Jon: HM?
Panel 2:
Jon: YOU'RE GAY!
Robot: I'M A MALE ROBOT.
Panel 3:
Jon: WHAT?
Robot: YOU CAN'T BE! YOU HAVE LONG HAIR!
Panel 4:
The robot explains.
Robot: SORRY. EVERY TIME WE HAD SEX, MY GENDER VARIABLE WAS SET TO "M" THUS, I WAS MALE, FROM MY BINARY ANTENNAE TO EVERYTHING SEX ORIFICE.
Jon: MY GOD.
Panel 5:
Jon: HOW DO I TELL MY WIFE.
Robot: I DON'T KNOW, BUT LET HER KNOW SHE'S A LESBIAN.
Votey:
Text (handwritten, upper left): YOU KNOW SOMETIMES.
The panel shows a close-up suggestive abstract scene with rounded shapes.
A robot with a single round red eye/light on its torso speaks to a man with flame-like hair (named Jon).
Robot: I HAVE NEWS THAT MAY STARTLE YOU, JON.
Jon: HM?
Panel 2:
Jon: YOU'RE GAY!
Robot: I'M A MALE ROBOT.
Panel 3:
Jon: WHAT?
Robot: YOU CAN'T BE! YOU HAVE LONG HAIR!
Panel 4:
The robot explains.
Robot: SORRY. EVERY TIME WE HAD SEX, MY GENDER VARIABLE WAS SET TO "M" THUS, I WAS MALE, FROM MY BINARY ANTENNAE TO EVERYTHING SEX ORIFICE.
Jon: MY GOD.
Panel 5:
Jon: HOW DO I TELL MY WIFE.
Robot: I DON'T KNOW, BUT LET HER KNOW SHE'S A LESBIAN.
Votey:
Text (handwritten, upper left): YOU KNOW SOMETIMES.
The panel shows a close-up suggestive abstract scene with rounded shapes.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A robot, depicted with a single round red light on its chest, talks to a man with spiky flame-like hair named Jon. Panel 1, robot: "I have news that may startle you, Jon." Jon: "Hm?" Panel 2, Jon guesses: "You're gay!" Robot: "I'm a male robot." Panel 3, Jon: "What?" Robot: "You can't be! You have long hair!" Panel 4, robot explains at length: "Sorry. Every time we had sex, my gender variable was set to 'M' thus, I was male, from my binary antennae to everything sex orifice." Jon, stunned: "My God." Panel 5, Jon: "How do I tell my wife." Robot: "I don't know, but let her know she's a lesbian." The joke: the robot's gender was determined by a software variable, retroactively reframing everyone's sexuality. Votey aftercomic: a close-up abstract image with rounded suggestive shapes and handwritten text reading "You know sometimes."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.