2013-10-20
Original: 2013-10-20 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration banner): TECHNOLOGY MADE IT POSSIBLE TO SHARE SENSATIONS AND EXPERIENCES THROUGH MENTAL RECORDINGS.
Woman: WOW! WE'RE BOTH ARMADILLO FETISHISTS? FINALLY I CAN ADMIT IT!
Man: YOU'RE GOING THROUGH YOUR OWN RECORDING.
Woman: AM I?
Panel 2 (narration banner): THE ABILITY TO SHARE THE PRIVATE WORLD PUBLICLY CREATED ENTIRE NEW REALMS OF ART.
Woman: IS THIS FIRST DATE GOING WELL?
Man: NO, BUT I'M GETTING A GREAT RECORDING FOR MY COMEDY ROUTINE.
Panel 3 (narration banner): THE SENSUAL PLEASURES, ONCE THE MOST INDIVIDUAL, BECAME THE MOST POPULAR. THE GREAT EROTIC ARTISTS WERE TREATED LIKE GREAT COMPOSERS.
Man: I CALL THIS... NOCTURNE IN MY D.
Panel 4 (narration banner): THE QUALITY OF SEX IMPROVED RAPIDLY.
(A line graph is shown with a rising curve. Vertical axis labeled 'Orgasm', horizontal axis labeled 'Time'.)
Panel 5 (narration banner): BUT AS IN ALL RECORDED ARTS, MOST OF THE ARTISTS HAD TO STRUGGLE FOR FAME.
Person 1: GIMME SOME SEX!
Man (artist): MAYBE CAN I SEE YOUR PORTFOLIO?
Panel 6 (narration banner): AND THOSE WHO WEREN'T SUCCESSFUL COULD NOT REST EASY.
Woman (purple hair): WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?
Man: YEAH, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S PUBLISHABLE.
Panel 7 (narration banner): SO EVEN AS EROTIC ARTS CONSUMERS BECAME HAPPIER AND HAPPIER, EROTIC ARTS PRODUCERS BECAME DERANGED AND WEIRD IN PURSUIT OF FAME.
Man: WHY IS SHE IN A GORILLA SUIT?
Woman: THE GORILLA REPRESENTS STRIFE.
Panel 8 (narration banner): ENTIRE INDUSTRIES WERE DEVOTED TO EVER MORE GRANDIOSE AND ABSURD FANTASIES. THIS RECORDING IS BEYOND HUMAN.
Man: 90% OF THE ACTORS ARE VIRTUAL.
Panel 9 (narration banner): A COUNTERCULTURE DEVELOPED.
Man (bald, beard): WE'VE CREATED EROTIC RECORDINGS THAT EXPLORE SEXUAL MINIMALISM IN THIRD MILLENNIUM SOCIETY.
Panel 10 (narration banner): IN A WORLD SO DRENCHED IN AVANT-GARDE EROTICISM, DEPRIVATION WAS THE GREATEST APHRODISIAC OF ALL.
Woman: HE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE SEX OR LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT? BECAUSE HE HAS UNRESOLVED ATTACHMENT TO HIS FIRST WIFE?
Woman (off, reacting): OH GOD YES.
Panel 11:
Woman: YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE A BORING PERSON.
Man: HONEY... YOU WANNA GET FRISKY TONIGHT?
Woman: NOT IF I CAN THINK OF A REASON NOT TO.
Panel 12 (narration banner): BUT YOU MIGHT JUST BE A SPECIAL EFFECT IN A POSTMODERN EROTIC SIMULATION.
Man: OH, NO! IT'S 3 AM AND WE'RE WIDE AWAKE AND WE'RE BOTH SO BUSY. WE NEED TO TURN AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
Woman: SO HOT.
Votey: A bearded man bent over a drawing board with a pen, thinking in a speech bubble: NOW TO DRAW 10,000 DIRTY JOKES.
Woman: WOW! WE'RE BOTH ARMADILLO FETISHISTS? FINALLY I CAN ADMIT IT!
Man: YOU'RE GOING THROUGH YOUR OWN RECORDING.
Woman: AM I?
Panel 2 (narration banner): THE ABILITY TO SHARE THE PRIVATE WORLD PUBLICLY CREATED ENTIRE NEW REALMS OF ART.
Woman: IS THIS FIRST DATE GOING WELL?
Man: NO, BUT I'M GETTING A GREAT RECORDING FOR MY COMEDY ROUTINE.
Panel 3 (narration banner): THE SENSUAL PLEASURES, ONCE THE MOST INDIVIDUAL, BECAME THE MOST POPULAR. THE GREAT EROTIC ARTISTS WERE TREATED LIKE GREAT COMPOSERS.
Man: I CALL THIS... NOCTURNE IN MY D.
Panel 4 (narration banner): THE QUALITY OF SEX IMPROVED RAPIDLY.
(A line graph is shown with a rising curve. Vertical axis labeled 'Orgasm', horizontal axis labeled 'Time'.)
Panel 5 (narration banner): BUT AS IN ALL RECORDED ARTS, MOST OF THE ARTISTS HAD TO STRUGGLE FOR FAME.
Person 1: GIMME SOME SEX!
Man (artist): MAYBE CAN I SEE YOUR PORTFOLIO?
Panel 6 (narration banner): AND THOSE WHO WEREN'T SUCCESSFUL COULD NOT REST EASY.
Woman (purple hair): WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?
Man: YEAH, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S PUBLISHABLE.
Panel 7 (narration banner): SO EVEN AS EROTIC ARTS CONSUMERS BECAME HAPPIER AND HAPPIER, EROTIC ARTS PRODUCERS BECAME DERANGED AND WEIRD IN PURSUIT OF FAME.
Man: WHY IS SHE IN A GORILLA SUIT?
Woman: THE GORILLA REPRESENTS STRIFE.
Panel 8 (narration banner): ENTIRE INDUSTRIES WERE DEVOTED TO EVER MORE GRANDIOSE AND ABSURD FANTASIES. THIS RECORDING IS BEYOND HUMAN.
Man: 90% OF THE ACTORS ARE VIRTUAL.
Panel 9 (narration banner): A COUNTERCULTURE DEVELOPED.
Man (bald, beard): WE'VE CREATED EROTIC RECORDINGS THAT EXPLORE SEXUAL MINIMALISM IN THIRD MILLENNIUM SOCIETY.
Panel 10 (narration banner): IN A WORLD SO DRENCHED IN AVANT-GARDE EROTICISM, DEPRIVATION WAS THE GREATEST APHRODISIAC OF ALL.
Woman: HE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE SEX OR LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT? BECAUSE HE HAS UNRESOLVED ATTACHMENT TO HIS FIRST WIFE?
Woman (off, reacting): OH GOD YES.
Panel 11:
Woman: YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE A BORING PERSON.
Man: HONEY... YOU WANNA GET FRISKY TONIGHT?
Woman: NOT IF I CAN THINK OF A REASON NOT TO.
Panel 12 (narration banner): BUT YOU MIGHT JUST BE A SPECIAL EFFECT IN A POSTMODERN EROTIC SIMULATION.
Man: OH, NO! IT'S 3 AM AND WE'RE WIDE AWAKE AND WE'RE BOTH SO BUSY. WE NEED TO TURN AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
Woman: SO HOT.
Votey: A bearded man bent over a drawing board with a pen, thinking in a speech bubble: NOW TO DRAW 10,000 DIRTY JOKES.
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic told through narration banners over a series of small panels. Premise: technology lets people record and share mental sensations, turning private erotic experiences into a public art form. A first date couple bicker about armadillo fetishes and comedy material. An artist titles an erotic recording 'Nocturne in My D.' A line graph titled with axes 'Orgasm' (vertical) and 'Time' (horizontal) shows a steeply rising curve, captioned that the quality of sex improved rapidly. As in all arts, producers struggle for fame and get increasingly deranged and weird: a woman in a gorilla suit is explained as 'the gorilla represents strife,' and 90% of actors in a recording are virtual. A bald bearded man announces a counterculture of erotic minimalism. Because the world is drenched in avant-garde eroticism, deprivation becomes the ultimate turn-on: a woman is aroused that a man won't have sex due to unresolved attachment to his first wife ('Oh god yes'), and a couple find it 'so hot' to turn away from each other at 3 AM because they're too busy. Final votey panel: a bearded man hunched over a drawing board with pen in hand thinks, 'Now to draw 10,000 dirty jokes' — the cartoonist contemplating having to actually produce all this erotic art.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.