2013-10-16
Original: 2013-10-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption, narration from the book): "If you could stack all the money owed by the world's governments, the stack would become unstable before it got five meters high."
A blue stick figure stands looking at small scattered piles of money on the ground.
Panel 2 (caption): "If you were traveling through space near the speed of light, you would observe yourself suffocating, then you would stop observing."
The blue figure floats in dark space, looking distressed.
Panel 3 (caption): "If you could arrange all of your neurons axon to axon in a straight line, you would literally be dead."
A close-up of the blue figure smiling beside a long pinkish neuron/axon shape.
Panel 4:
Girl: "Mom! I hate this book!"
Mom: "You'll thank me when you're older."
The mom sits reading a yellow book to a child in bed. The book cover reads: "SCIENCE FACTS FOR FUTURE INTOLERABLE PEDANTS".
Votey:
Handwritten text on a note/page: "IF YOU COULD HOLD A BLACK HOLE IN YOUR HAND, YOU COULD EXTORT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS".
A blue stick figure stands looking at small scattered piles of money on the ground.
Panel 2 (caption): "If you were traveling through space near the speed of light, you would observe yourself suffocating, then you would stop observing."
The blue figure floats in dark space, looking distressed.
Panel 3 (caption): "If you could arrange all of your neurons axon to axon in a straight line, you would literally be dead."
A close-up of the blue figure smiling beside a long pinkish neuron/axon shape.
Panel 4:
Girl: "Mom! I hate this book!"
Mom: "You'll thank me when you're older."
The mom sits reading a yellow book to a child in bed. The book cover reads: "SCIENCE FACTS FOR FUTURE INTOLERABLE PEDANTS".
Votey:
Handwritten text on a note/page: "IF YOU COULD HOLD A BLACK HOLE IN YOUR HAND, YOU COULD EXTORT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS".
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. The first three panels each pair a deadpan "science fact" caption with an illustration of a blue stick figure. Panel 1: "If you could stack all the money owed by the world's governments, the stack would become unstable before it got five meters high," shown with the figure beside small scattered piles of cash. Panel 2: "If you were traveling through space near the speed of light, you would observe yourself suffocating, then you would stop observing," shown with the figure floating distressed in space. Panel 3: "If you could arrange all of your neurons axon to axon in a straight line, you would literally be dead," shown with the figure smiling next to a long neuron. Panel 4 reveals the source: a mother reading these facts from a yellow book to her child in bed. The child shouts "Mom! I hate this book!" and the mom replies "You'll thank me when you're older." The book's cover reads "SCIENCE FACTS FOR FUTURE INTOLERABLE PEDANTS." The votey (bonus panel) is a handwritten page reading: "IF YOU COULD HOLD A BLACK HOLE IN YOUR HAND, YOU COULD EXTORT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.