2013-08-21
Original: 2013-08-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man reading a letter aloud. Letter: "I told you that if there was something beyond the grave, I would contact you!"
Panel 2: "I ordered this package to be sent in the event of my death."
Panel 3: "If there were a way to reach beyond death, I would've stopped this package before you got it."
Panel 4 (dark, a silhouetted figure): "I'm sorry."
Panel 5: "But you see, I've set up a win-win for you!"
Panel 6 (man at a box of candy): "Either you see me again, or you get a box of candy!"
Panel 7: "We were both negotiators to each other -- eyes, ears, nose, hands, mouth."
Panel 8: "As long as I can taste a few of those, I'm only gone from myself, not from you."
Panel 9 (man reading the letter): "I'm sorry I couldn't stop this package."
Panel 10: "But I'll try to get the one for next month!"
Votey: A person speaking on the phone, with a speech bubble reading: "WIENER JOKE TOMORROW I PROMISE!"
Panel 2: "I ordered this package to be sent in the event of my death."
Panel 3: "If there were a way to reach beyond death, I would've stopped this package before you got it."
Panel 4 (dark, a silhouetted figure): "I'm sorry."
Panel 5: "But you see, I've set up a win-win for you!"
Panel 6 (man at a box of candy): "Either you see me again, or you get a box of candy!"
Panel 7: "We were both negotiators to each other -- eyes, ears, nose, hands, mouth."
Panel 8: "As long as I can taste a few of those, I'm only gone from myself, not from you."
Panel 9 (man reading the letter): "I'm sorry I couldn't stop this package."
Panel 10: "But I'll try to get the one for next month!"
Votey: A person speaking on the phone, with a speech bubble reading: "WIENER JOKE TOMORROW I PROMISE!"
Alt text
A tall black-and-white-style SMBC comic. A man sits reading a letter from someone who has died. The letter explains the deceased arranged for this package to arrive after death as proof of contact from beyond the grave -- but notes that if reaching beyond death were truly possible, they would have stopped the package before it arrived. A dark silhouetted panel reads "I'm sorry." The letter then frames it as a win-win: either the recipient sees the writer again, or they get a box of candy. The man opens a box full of candy. The letter philosophizes that they were both negotiators to each other -- eyes, ears, nose, hands, mouth -- and that as long as the writer can taste a few of those, they are only gone from themselves, not from the recipient. The man finishes reading: the writer apologizes for being unable to stop the package, but promises to try to get the next month's. Votey: a person on the phone with a speech bubble reading "WIENER JOKE TOMORROW I PROMISE!", an author's aside joking that this comic was unusually sincere rather than crude.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.