2013-07-24
Original: 2013-07-24 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Caption: As long as your brain is plugged in, your skull never carries an entire universe in a flimsy container.
Caption: The neuron connections of a sliced-up brain.
Man in a hat: Now my brain's in the cloud.
Man in a hat: Ooh! I can check how much time you think you have left per day.
Other speaker (off-panel): That's not a weighted average!
Caption: The cloud was so effective, and the possibility of danger so low, that we didn't even notice when we stopped going... (a skeleton lies on a slab)
Speaker: Wait. I remember this. I wasn't born until since college!
Caption: This was a few days, but there were also an unexpected solar storm.
Speaker: It took a moment to realize what...
Speaker: Did the moon just shift a few degrees for you?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Does it usually do that?
Caption: The storage companies were forced to make an announcement.
Letter: Dear Customers,
A recent unforeseen outage temporarily ended the persistent existence of every human being. For the sake of full disclosure, Cloudcorp wishes to make you aware that all of you are reconstructions of your past human minds, created entirely in the last few days, with an unknown amount of errors introduced during the process.
Please accept our sincere apology and a complimentary $5 Starbucks gift card.*
*not really, lol
Caption: You might think there would be a furious revolt.
Caption: But we were all completely satisfied with the level of transparency, and the gift card was really thoughtful.
Figure in a hat: Yeah, if they'd handled it better, then I wouldn't exist.
Another figure: And I llllooooove soy lattes.
Caption: Plus, the universe was literally brand new.
Smiling person holding a cup labeled "I CLOUD CORP": I cloud corp.
Person: Hm.
Thought/caption: I wonder why she never mentioned it in any of her emails.
Votey:
Large text: WoooooooOH!
A close-up line drawing of a bearded man's face, looking pleased/awestruck.
Caption: The neuron connections of a sliced-up brain.
Man in a hat: Now my brain's in the cloud.
Man in a hat: Ooh! I can check how much time you think you have left per day.
Other speaker (off-panel): That's not a weighted average!
Caption: The cloud was so effective, and the possibility of danger so low, that we didn't even notice when we stopped going... (a skeleton lies on a slab)
Speaker: Wait. I remember this. I wasn't born until since college!
Caption: This was a few days, but there were also an unexpected solar storm.
Speaker: It took a moment to realize what...
Speaker: Did the moon just shift a few degrees for you?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Does it usually do that?
Caption: The storage companies were forced to make an announcement.
Letter: Dear Customers,
A recent unforeseen outage temporarily ended the persistent existence of every human being. For the sake of full disclosure, Cloudcorp wishes to make you aware that all of you are reconstructions of your past human minds, created entirely in the last few days, with an unknown amount of errors introduced during the process.
Please accept our sincere apology and a complimentary $5 Starbucks gift card.*
*not really, lol
Caption: You might think there would be a furious revolt.
Caption: But we were all completely satisfied with the level of transparency, and the gift card was really thoughtful.
Figure in a hat: Yeah, if they'd handled it better, then I wouldn't exist.
Another figure: And I llllooooove soy lattes.
Caption: Plus, the universe was literally brand new.
Smiling person holding a cup labeled "I CLOUD CORP": I cloud corp.
Person: Hm.
Thought/caption: I wonder why she never mentioned it in any of her emails.
Votey:
Large text: WoooooooOH!
A close-up line drawing of a bearded man's face, looking pleased/awestruck.
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic about humanity's minds being stored "in the cloud." A caption explains that as long as your brain is plugged in, your skull never has to carry an entire universe in a flimsy container. A man in a hat announces "Now my brain's in the cloud" and gleefully checks a stat about how much time he has left, prompting someone to object "That's not a weighted average!" A caption notes the cloud was so effective and danger so low that people stopped maintaining their physical bodies, shown by a skeleton lying on a slab. Characters realize something is off, noting the moon has shifted a few degrees. A caption says the storage companies were forced to make an announcement, followed by a letter from "Cloudcorp" admitting that an outage temporarily ended the existence of every human being, that everyone is now a reconstruction of their past mind made in the last few days with an unknown number of errors, and offering a complimentary $5 Starbucks gift card, footnoted "not really, lol." A caption says you'd expect a furious revolt, but everyone was satisfied with the transparency and the gift card; one figure shrugs "if they'd handled it better, then I wouldn't exist" and another gushes "And I llllooooove soy lattes." The universe being brand new, a smiling person holds a cup branded "I CLOUD CORP." A final person muses "Hm. I wonder why she never mentioned it in any of her emails." The votey panel shows a large "WoooooooOH!" above a close-up line drawing of a delighted, awestruck bearded man's face.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.