2013-07-22
Original: 2013-07-22 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title caption: IT IS A MISTAKE TO THINK THERE ARE NO LITTLE GODS.
Panel 1
Caption: A GOD IS A MIND WITH SUPERNATURAL POWER.
A small god figure (on a cloud): I SHALL DOUBLE YOUR BREAD!
Panel 2
Label: GOD: SUPERNATURAL? RELATIVE
A bearded man (godlike figure): I SHALL DOUBLE YOUR GRAIN HARVEST. FOREVER AGAIN.
Panel 3
Label: SUPERNATURAL = MIRACLE THE VIOLATION
A red-haired person (scientist): WHY ARE THEY CALLED "WRONG"?
A bearded man: FROM THE GREEK ATINOS, MEANING "UNSPLITTABLE ONES."
Red-haired person: CAN WE SPLIT THEM?
Bearded man: YEP.
Panel 4
Caption: WHENEVER THE GREEK LAWS WERE BROKEN, WE BECAME LITTLE GODS.
Label left: EARLY LAW
Text: MAN CANNOT FLY
Label right: LATER LAW
Text: MAN CANNOT FLY COMFORTABLY FOR CHEAP!
Panel 5
Caption: AND THEN THOSE LAWS WERE BROKEN.
A man in a top hat (older scientist): HEY MISSION CONTROL, WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT OLD GREEK MOON GODDESS?
A woman: SELENE, THE ALL-SHINING?
Man in top hat: I'M GONNA RENAME HER "AMERICA JUNIOR."
Panel 6
Caption: AND WHENEVER WE THINK WE'VE FOUND THE BIG GODS' LAWS, WE FIND LOOPHOLES.
A red-haired person (scientist): THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE SAY YOU CAN'T BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE.
Another figure: I'M A BIT OF A SOCIAL ACTIVIST.
Panel 7
Caption: AND SO IT IS THE LITTLE GODS NOW. IT THEN OCCURRED TO MANY OF US...
A red-haired person: WHY DOING CAN TALK TO ANYONE IS A TREASURED ANGEL!
Another person: I SEE YOU HAVE A NEW "THE INTERNATIONAL" UPGRADE NICE!
Panel 8
Caption: PERHAPS THERE IS NO "OUTSIDE" OF THE UNIVERSE AFTER ALL. IT DOES SEEM ORDERED.
Equation (handwritten): L(q, q, t) = everything
Panel 9
Caption: BUT IT'S BEEN FUN UNTIL I MEET...
A person in a lab coat: THIS REACTOR WOULD WORK BETTER IF...
Another person (kneeling/working): SELENE, THE ALL-SHINING? I LEFT MY EXPONENTIATOR AT HOME. CAN WE JUST DILATE TIME EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE?
Votey:
A monstrous, wide-grinning figure holds up a test tube: I'LL DOUBLE YOUR GRAIN WITH THIS TEST TUBE!
Panel 1
Caption: A GOD IS A MIND WITH SUPERNATURAL POWER.
A small god figure (on a cloud): I SHALL DOUBLE YOUR BREAD!
Panel 2
Label: GOD: SUPERNATURAL? RELATIVE
A bearded man (godlike figure): I SHALL DOUBLE YOUR GRAIN HARVEST. FOREVER AGAIN.
Panel 3
Label: SUPERNATURAL = MIRACLE THE VIOLATION
A red-haired person (scientist): WHY ARE THEY CALLED "WRONG"?
A bearded man: FROM THE GREEK ATINOS, MEANING "UNSPLITTABLE ONES."
Red-haired person: CAN WE SPLIT THEM?
Bearded man: YEP.
Panel 4
Caption: WHENEVER THE GREEK LAWS WERE BROKEN, WE BECAME LITTLE GODS.
Label left: EARLY LAW
Text: MAN CANNOT FLY
Label right: LATER LAW
Text: MAN CANNOT FLY COMFORTABLY FOR CHEAP!
Panel 5
Caption: AND THEN THOSE LAWS WERE BROKEN.
A man in a top hat (older scientist): HEY MISSION CONTROL, WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT OLD GREEK MOON GODDESS?
A woman: SELENE, THE ALL-SHINING?
Man in top hat: I'M GONNA RENAME HER "AMERICA JUNIOR."
Panel 6
Caption: AND WHENEVER WE THINK WE'VE FOUND THE BIG GODS' LAWS, WE FIND LOOPHOLES.
A red-haired person (scientist): THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE SAY YOU CAN'T BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE.
Another figure: I'M A BIT OF A SOCIAL ACTIVIST.
Panel 7
Caption: AND SO IT IS THE LITTLE GODS NOW. IT THEN OCCURRED TO MANY OF US...
A red-haired person: WHY DOING CAN TALK TO ANYONE IS A TREASURED ANGEL!
Another person: I SEE YOU HAVE A NEW "THE INTERNATIONAL" UPGRADE NICE!
Panel 8
Caption: PERHAPS THERE IS NO "OUTSIDE" OF THE UNIVERSE AFTER ALL. IT DOES SEEM ORDERED.
Equation (handwritten): L(q, q, t) = everything
Panel 9
Caption: BUT IT'S BEEN FUN UNTIL I MEET...
A person in a lab coat: THIS REACTOR WOULD WORK BETTER IF...
Another person (kneeling/working): SELENE, THE ALL-SHINING? I LEFT MY EXPONENTIATOR AT HOME. CAN WE JUST DILATE TIME EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE?
Votey:
A monstrous, wide-grinning figure holds up a test tube: I'LL DOUBLE YOUR GRAIN WITH THIS TEST TUBE!
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic arguing that 'little gods' are real, framed as humans repeatedly breaking the laws once thought to be set by the gods. It opens with a caption: 'It is a mistake to think there are no little gods,' defining a god as 'a mind with supernatural power.' Early panels show small godlike figures promising to double someone's bread and grain harvest. A red-haired scientist talks with a bearded godlike figure about splitting 'unsplittable ones' (a pun on Greek atomos / atoms), establishing that humans can break supposedly fixed laws. A panel contrasts an 'early law' ('Man cannot fly') with a 'later law' ('Man cannot fly comfortably for cheap'), the joke being that humans keep breaking each one. A top-hatted scientist radios mission control to ask the name of the old Greek moon goddess and, on hearing 'Selene, the all-shining,' declares he will rename her 'America Junior' (a Moon-landing jab). Further panels riff on physics loopholes, being in two places at once, and a handwritten Lagrangian equation 'L(q, q, t) = everything,' suggesting the universe is fully ordered with no outside. The closing panel shows lab workers casually proposing to 'dilate time everywhere else in the universe' to fix a reactor, treating godlike feats as routine engineering. The red 'votey' bonus panel shows a wild, wide-grinning monster brandishing a test tube and shouting, 'I'll double your grain with THIS test tube!' — capping the bit that science now does what gods once promised.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.