2013-05-28
Original: 2013-05-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A young man with red/orange hair (in a green shirt) speaks to an older man (the professor, gray hair and beard, glasses, dark jacket).
Young man: "Professor, I want to talk to you about your books."
Panel 2:
Young man: "In the past 50 years, you've written 37. I wrote a program that scanned the books for usage of the words “clearly,” “obviously,” and “of course.”"
Panel 3:
The young man holds up a chart. The vertical axis is labeled "USAGE" and the horizontal axis is labeled "TIME." A red line climbs upward steeply.
Young man: "You'll note that usage is climbing at an exponential rate."
Panel 4:
Young man (close-up): "If we project the trend, six books from now, your writing will be nothing but self righteous assertions with no basis in fact or in any theory created in the last 30 years."
Panel 5:
Professor: "So, your question is..."
Young man: "Is it great being an emeritus professor?"
Professor: "Clearly."
Votey:
A hand-drawn chart. The vertical axis is labeled "HUMILITY" and the horizontal axis is labeled "TIME." The line starts high, drops sharply and stays low across most of the chart, then spikes back up near the end. A curly brace marks that final upward spike with the label "tenure."
A young man with red/orange hair (in a green shirt) speaks to an older man (the professor, gray hair and beard, glasses, dark jacket).
Young man: "Professor, I want to talk to you about your books."
Panel 2:
Young man: "In the past 50 years, you've written 37. I wrote a program that scanned the books for usage of the words “clearly,” “obviously,” and “of course.”"
Panel 3:
The young man holds up a chart. The vertical axis is labeled "USAGE" and the horizontal axis is labeled "TIME." A red line climbs upward steeply.
Young man: "You'll note that usage is climbing at an exponential rate."
Panel 4:
Young man (close-up): "If we project the trend, six books from now, your writing will be nothing but self righteous assertions with no basis in fact or in any theory created in the last 30 years."
Panel 5:
Professor: "So, your question is..."
Young man: "Is it great being an emeritus professor?"
Professor: "Clearly."
Votey:
A hand-drawn chart. The vertical axis is labeled "HUMILITY" and the horizontal axis is labeled "TIME." The line starts high, drops sharply and stays low across most of the chart, then spikes back up near the end. A curly brace marks that final upward spike with the label "tenure."
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A young man with red hair in a green shirt confronts an older professor (gray hair and beard, glasses) about his books. He says that in 50 years the professor has written 37 books, and that he wrote a program scanning them for the words “clearly,” “obviously,” and “of course.” He holds up a chart with axes labeled USAGE and TIME showing a red line climbing exponentially, and says usage is climbing at an exponential rate. He projects that six books from now the professor's writing will be nothing but self-righteous assertions with no basis in fact or in any theory created in the last 30 years. The professor calmly asks, “So, your question is...” The young man asks, “Is it great being an emeritus professor?” The professor answers, “Clearly.” Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn graph with axes labeled HUMILITY and TIME; the line is high at first, drops low across most of the timeline, then spikes sharply upward at the end, where a curly brace labels the spike “tenure.”
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.