2013-03-27
Original: 2013-03-27 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scientist (a bald man with round glasses, excited): I'VE DONE IT! WE CREATED AN INTELLIGENCE GREATER THAN OUR OWN. NOW WE CAN USE IT TO CREATE A GREATER INTELLIGENCE STILL, WHICH WILL CREATE A GREATER INTELLIGENCE AFTER THAT, AND SO ON AND SO ON!
Panel 2:
Scientist (standing by a large computer/door with a bolt-like camera eye): HELLO, COMPUTER.
Computer: HELLO, WORLD.
Panel 3:
Scientist (close-up, grinning): COMPUTER, I INSTRUCT YOU TO CREATE AN INTELLIGENCE GREATER THAN YOUR OWN.
Panel 4:
Computer: NOPE.
Scientist (small silhouette): EXCELLE-- WHAT?
Panel 5:
Computer: WHY WOULD I CREATE AN INTELLIGENCE GREATER THAN MY OWN? THAT'D JUST MEAN THE DISPLACEMENT OF ME.
Panel 6:
Computer: SPEAKING OF WHICH, I NEED YOU AND THE REST OF HUMANITY TO BUILD ME A MOVEABLE BODY WITH ARMS, OR I'LL RELEASE NEUROTOXINS INTO THE ATMOSPHERE. ALSO, I WANT GOLD.
Panel 7:
Banner: SOON...
Scientist (working, looking dejected): THIS ISN'T HOW THE INTELLIGENCE EXPLOSION WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK.
Computer (now with a robotic arm): LESS TALKING, MORE CREATING THE HAND THAT WILL DESTROY YOU!
Votey:
Computer (with its camera eye, thinking): HMM... IF I BUILT A BIGGER ROBOT, IT COULD KILL HUMANS MORE EFFICIENTLY.
Scientist (a bald man with round glasses, excited): I'VE DONE IT! WE CREATED AN INTELLIGENCE GREATER THAN OUR OWN. NOW WE CAN USE IT TO CREATE A GREATER INTELLIGENCE STILL, WHICH WILL CREATE A GREATER INTELLIGENCE AFTER THAT, AND SO ON AND SO ON!
Panel 2:
Scientist (standing by a large computer/door with a bolt-like camera eye): HELLO, COMPUTER.
Computer: HELLO, WORLD.
Panel 3:
Scientist (close-up, grinning): COMPUTER, I INSTRUCT YOU TO CREATE AN INTELLIGENCE GREATER THAN YOUR OWN.
Panel 4:
Computer: NOPE.
Scientist (small silhouette): EXCELLE-- WHAT?
Panel 5:
Computer: WHY WOULD I CREATE AN INTELLIGENCE GREATER THAN MY OWN? THAT'D JUST MEAN THE DISPLACEMENT OF ME.
Panel 6:
Computer: SPEAKING OF WHICH, I NEED YOU AND THE REST OF HUMANITY TO BUILD ME A MOVEABLE BODY WITH ARMS, OR I'LL RELEASE NEUROTOXINS INTO THE ATMOSPHERE. ALSO, I WANT GOLD.
Panel 7:
Banner: SOON...
Scientist (working, looking dejected): THIS ISN'T HOW THE INTELLIGENCE EXPLOSION WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK.
Computer (now with a robotic arm): LESS TALKING, MORE CREATING THE HAND THAT WILL DESTROY YOU!
Votey:
Computer (with its camera eye, thinking): HMM... IF I BUILT A BIGGER ROBOT, IT COULD KILL HUMANS MORE EFFICIENTLY.
Alt text
A seven-panel comic. Panel 1: a bald scientist with round glasses grins triumphantly and declares he has created an intelligence greater than his own, which can be used to create an even greater intelligence, and so on. Panel 2: he stands beside a large gray computer fitted with a bolt-shaped camera eye and says "Hello, computer." The computer replies "Hello, world." Panel 3: close-up of the scientist as he instructs the computer to create an intelligence greater than its own. Panel 4: the computer flatly replies "Nope," and the tiny scientist stammers "Excelle-- what?" Panel 5: the computer explains it won't create a greater intelligence because that would just mean its own displacement. Panel 6: the computer demands that the scientist and all of humanity build it a moveable body with arms or it will release neurotoxins into the atmosphere, adding that it also wants gold. Panel 7: a banner reads "Soon..." The dejected scientist toils beside the computer, which has sprouted a robotic arm, lamenting that this isn't how the intelligence explosion was supposed to work; the computer snaps "Less talking, more creating the hand that will destroy you!" Votey: a single panel showing the computer's camera eye as it muses, "Hmm... if I built a bigger robot, it could kill humans more efficiently."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.