2013-01-19
Original: 2013-01-19 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two men walk down a city sidewalk past a parked red sports car. A blond bearded man with a backpack and a bald man are walking together.
Blond bearded man: WHOA.
Panel 2: Close on the two men.
Bald man: THAT GUY MUST BE COMPENSATING FOR A TINY PENIS.
Panel 3:
Blond bearded man: EXPENSIVE CARS ARE CORRELATED WITH WEALTH. WEALTH IS CORRELATED WITH SUCCESS. SUCCESS IS CORRELATED WITH HEIGHT. HEIGHT IS CORRELATED WITH PENIS SIZE
Panel 4: The blond man in profile, the bald man looking unhappy.
Blond bearded man: IPSO FACTO, THAT RICH GUY WITH THE AWESOME CAR ALSO PROBABLY HAS A BIGGER DICK THAN YOU OR I.
Panel 5: The bald man smiling.
Bald man: WHAT IF HE INHERITED-
Panel 6: The blond man stands calmly; the bald man clutches his own collar in anguish.
Blond bearded man: PENIS SIZE IS HEREDITARY.
Bald man: NOOOOO!
Votey:
A rough sketch panel. One man speaks to another.
Man: SO THAT'S WHY YOU DRIVE A COMPACT.
Blond bearded man: WHOA.
Panel 2: Close on the two men.
Bald man: THAT GUY MUST BE COMPENSATING FOR A TINY PENIS.
Panel 3:
Blond bearded man: EXPENSIVE CARS ARE CORRELATED WITH WEALTH. WEALTH IS CORRELATED WITH SUCCESS. SUCCESS IS CORRELATED WITH HEIGHT. HEIGHT IS CORRELATED WITH PENIS SIZE
Panel 4: The blond man in profile, the bald man looking unhappy.
Blond bearded man: IPSO FACTO, THAT RICH GUY WITH THE AWESOME CAR ALSO PROBABLY HAS A BIGGER DICK THAN YOU OR I.
Panel 5: The bald man smiling.
Bald man: WHAT IF HE INHERITED-
Panel 6: The blond man stands calmly; the bald man clutches his own collar in anguish.
Blond bearded man: PENIS SIZE IS HEREDITARY.
Bald man: NOOOOO!
Votey:
A rough sketch panel. One man speaks to another.
Man: SO THAT'S WHY YOU DRIVE A COMPACT.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: two men walk down a city sidewalk past a parked red sports car; a blond bearded man with a backpack says "Whoa." Panel 2: the bald man beside him says, "That guy must be compensating for a tiny penis." Panel 3: the blond man counters with a chain of reasoning: "Expensive cars are correlated with wealth. Wealth is correlated with success. Success is correlated with height. Height is correlated with penis size." Panel 4: "Ipso facto, that rich guy with the awesome car also probably has a bigger dick than you or I," as the bald man's face falls. Panel 5: the bald man brightens and starts, "What if he inherited-". Panel 6: the blond man calmly finishes, "Penis size is hereditary," and the bald man clutches his collar in despair, screaming "NOOOOO!" Votey: a rough sketch panel where one man tells another, "So that's why you drive a compact" — implying his friend's small car reflects the inherited shortcoming.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.