2013-01-25
Original: 2013-01-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Green alien A: Do you think humans have consciousness?
Green alien B: Ha!
Panel 2:
Green alien B: No way.
Green alien A: But they have self awareness, empathy, language, ethics...
Panel 3:
Green alien B: Yeah, but they don't have znurg'naq, that's unique to we Zorblaxians. And humans only have a very primitive form of zchoeq'yarf.
Panel 4:
Green alien B: So, at best, they've got like 70% of consciousness.
Panel 5:
Green alien A: I dunno. Maybe "consciousness" is just a sort of grab bag of things that are special about us, which we're therefore giving primacy.
Green alien B: Oh please.
Panel 6:
Green alien B: If there ARE other conscious beings in the universe, they'll have znurg'naq. I mean, otherwise how would they znurg?
Green alien A: True. Very true.
Panel 7 (caption: ELSEWHERE...):
Red-haired woman: Do you think chimps are truly conscious?
Man: Come on. They can barely use syntax.
Votey:
Text on a sign/panel: TRANSLATION: OF ZCHOEQ'YARF: "COMIC BOOKS"
Green alien A: Do you think humans have consciousness?
Green alien B: Ha!
Panel 2:
Green alien B: No way.
Green alien A: But they have self awareness, empathy, language, ethics...
Panel 3:
Green alien B: Yeah, but they don't have znurg'naq, that's unique to we Zorblaxians. And humans only have a very primitive form of zchoeq'yarf.
Panel 4:
Green alien B: So, at best, they've got like 70% of consciousness.
Panel 5:
Green alien A: I dunno. Maybe "consciousness" is just a sort of grab bag of things that are special about us, which we're therefore giving primacy.
Green alien B: Oh please.
Panel 6:
Green alien B: If there ARE other conscious beings in the universe, they'll have znurg'naq. I mean, otherwise how would they znurg?
Green alien A: True. Very true.
Panel 7 (caption: ELSEWHERE...):
Red-haired woman: Do you think chimps are truly conscious?
Man: Come on. They can barely use syntax.
Votey:
Text on a sign/panel: TRANSLATION: OF ZCHOEQ'YARF: "COMIC BOOKS"
Alt text
A comic of two green big-eyed aliens reclining and chatting in a purple alien landscape under a starry sky. One asks if humans have consciousness; the other scoffs "Ha! No way." The first lists human traits (self-awareness, empathy, language, ethics), but the skeptic insists humans lack 'znurg'naq,' which is unique to their species the Zorblaxians, and only have a primitive form of 'zchoeq'yarf' — so at best humans have like 70% of consciousness. The first alien suggests "consciousness" might just be a grab-bag of traits special to them that they're giving primacy, but the skeptic dismisses this, arguing any truly conscious being would have znurg'naq — "otherwise how would they znurg?" The final panel cuts to a red-banner caption reading ELSEWHERE..., showing a red-haired woman and a man lying on grass; she asks if chimps are truly conscious and he replies "Come on. They can barely use syntax" — the joke being humans dismiss chimp consciousness exactly the way the aliens dismiss human consciousness. The votey (bonus panel) is a hand-lettered note reading "TRANSLATION OF ZCHOEQ'YARF: 'COMIC BOOKS'", revealing the alien word for the trait humans only have primitively just means comic books.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.