2012-09-14
Original: 2012-09-14 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A bald man: "What's this?"
A young man with glasses: "You'll like it. It's a religious video game. You know how Jesus could multiply fish?"
Bald man: "Sure."
Panel 2:
Text on screen / title: "ARMOR OF STURGEON!"
Bald man: "Curses!"
Panel 3:
Young man: "You fight through parts of the ancient world until you reach a local fishmonger. If you defeat him, you gain a new type of fish and all--"
Panel 4:
Text on screen: "ELECTRIC EEL STRIKE!"
Panel 5:
Bald man: "This might be... sacrilege."
Young man: "No way! You should download it and try it out."
Panel 6:
Caption: "SOON..."
Bald man (now playing the game): "This is so fun! There's no way God would have a problem with it."
Panel 7:
Game character (a glowing figure): "I am the way, the light, the MASTER OF SHARKS!"
Panel 8:
Bald man: "Annnnd maybe not!"
Text on screen: "PUFFERFISH GO!"
Votey:
A pufferfish with a bearded human face (resembling Jesus) shouting in a speech bubble: "CRUCIFY THIS!"
A bald man: "What's this?"
A young man with glasses: "You'll like it. It's a religious video game. You know how Jesus could multiply fish?"
Bald man: "Sure."
Panel 2:
Text on screen / title: "ARMOR OF STURGEON!"
Bald man: "Curses!"
Panel 3:
Young man: "You fight through parts of the ancient world until you reach a local fishmonger. If you defeat him, you gain a new type of fish and all--"
Panel 4:
Text on screen: "ELECTRIC EEL STRIKE!"
Panel 5:
Bald man: "This might be... sacrilege."
Young man: "No way! You should download it and try it out."
Panel 6:
Caption: "SOON..."
Bald man (now playing the game): "This is so fun! There's no way God would have a problem with it."
Panel 7:
Game character (a glowing figure): "I am the way, the light, the MASTER OF SHARKS!"
Panel 8:
Bald man: "Annnnd maybe not!"
Text on screen: "PUFFERFISH GO!"
Votey:
A pufferfish with a bearded human face (resembling Jesus) shouting in a speech bubble: "CRUCIFY THIS!"
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A young man with glasses introduces a bald friend to a religious video game, explaining that since Jesus could multiply fish, the game lets you battle through the ancient world defeating fishmongers to gain new fish powers. On-screen attacks flash up: "ARMOR OF STURGEON!" and "ELECTRIC EEL STRIKE!" The bald man worries it might be sacrilege, but the friend says to download and try it. SOON... the bald man is hooked, saying "This is so fun! There's no way God would have a problem with it." Then a glowing game figure proclaims, "I am the way, the light, the MASTER OF SHARKS!" and launches "PUFFERFISH GO!" The bald man reconsiders: "Annnnd maybe not!" Votey: a spiky pufferfish with a bearded, Jesus-like human face angrily shouts, "CRUCIFY THIS!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.