2012-08-14
Original: 2012-08-14 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Student (woman): So when Louis XVI was executed...
Professor (bald man): Excuse me, professor.
Panel 2:
Student: Yes?
Professor: According to my religion, states were created in their current form a million years ago, to imply that states change over time.
Panel 3:
Student: But there's so much evidence! We have weapons and uniforms and documents from the period.
Professor: Put here by Satan to fool non-believers.
Panel 4:
Student: But every historian agrees there was a French revolution!
Professor: I can give you some literature from the Creation History Foundation that says otherwise.
Panel 5:
Student: What about all the revolutions in the Middle East recently? You can personally observe those!
Professor: Oh well. Of course everyone accepts 'microevolution,' but the resulting states are basically the same.
Panel 6:
Student: Besides, the theory of revolution can't explain where states come from.
Professor: The existence of states isn't part of the theory. You can't have revolution until after the state exists!
Panel 7:
Student (clutching head, screaming): AAAAAA AAAA!!!
Panel 8:
Professor (now looking distressed/wide-eyed): Um hum. Pretty limited theory then, eh?
Panel 9:
Professor: Okay, I concede. Teaching intro biology is harder than teaching intro history.
Student: Thank you.
Votey:
(A different, hand-drawn scene.)
First person: How old do you think the Earth is?
Second person (a woman): 6000 weeks.
Student (woman): So when Louis XVI was executed...
Professor (bald man): Excuse me, professor.
Panel 2:
Student: Yes?
Professor: According to my religion, states were created in their current form a million years ago, to imply that states change over time.
Panel 3:
Student: But there's so much evidence! We have weapons and uniforms and documents from the period.
Professor: Put here by Satan to fool non-believers.
Panel 4:
Student: But every historian agrees there was a French revolution!
Professor: I can give you some literature from the Creation History Foundation that says otherwise.
Panel 5:
Student: What about all the revolutions in the Middle East recently? You can personally observe those!
Professor: Oh well. Of course everyone accepts 'microevolution,' but the resulting states are basically the same.
Panel 6:
Student: Besides, the theory of revolution can't explain where states come from.
Professor: The existence of states isn't part of the theory. You can't have revolution until after the state exists!
Panel 7:
Student (clutching head, screaming): AAAAAA AAAA!!!
Panel 8:
Professor (now looking distressed/wide-eyed): Um hum. Pretty limited theory then, eh?
Panel 9:
Professor: Okay, I concede. Teaching intro biology is harder than teaching intro history.
Student: Thank you.
Votey:
(A different, hand-drawn scene.)
First person: How old do you think the Earth is?
Second person (a woman): 6000 weeks.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A bald professor turns the tables on a female student by applying young-earth creationist arguments to the history of revolutions. The student says 'So when Louis XVI was executed...' and the professor interrupts: by his religion, states were created in their current form a million years ago, merely to imply they change over time. When she cites weapons, uniforms, and documents from the period, he says they were 'put here by Satan to fool non-believers.' When she notes every historian agrees there was a French revolution, he offers literature from the 'Creation History Foundation.' When she points to recent Middle East revolutions she can personally observe, he allows 'microevolution' but says the resulting states are basically the same. When she argues the theory of revolution can't explain where states come from, he replies that the existence of states isn't part of the theory: 'You can't have revolution until after the state exists!' The student clutches her head and screams 'AAAAAA!!!' The now wide-eyed professor says 'Pretty limited theory then, eh?' Finally he concedes: 'Teaching intro biology is harder than teaching intro history.' The student says 'Thank you.' The votey is a separate rough black-and-white panel: a man asks a woman 'How old do you think the Earth is?' and she answers '6000 weeks.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.