2012-09-02
Original: 2012-09-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): HERE IS SOMETHING TRUE: ONE DAY YOU WILL BE DEAD.
[A white skull on red background.]
Panel 2 (caption): HERE IS SOMETHING FALSE: YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
[A blank-faced person.]
Panel 3 (caption): IT TAKES ABOUT 7 YEARS TO MASTER SOMETHING.
[A graduate in cap and gown reading a book to a standing figure.]
Panel 4 (caption): IF YOU LIVE TO BE 88, AFTER AGE 11, YOU HAVE 11 OPPORTUNITIES TO BE GREAT AT SOMETHING.
[A number line marked 11, 18, 25, 32, 39, 46, 53, 60, 67, 74, 81.]
Panel 5 (caption): THESE ARE YOUR LIFETIMES.
[A row of identical pale faces on a dark blue background.]
Panel 6 (caption): MOST PEOPLE NEVER LET THEMSELVES DIE.
Person: I'VE JUST ALWAYS KNOWN I WAS GOOD AT ORGANIZING SPREADSHEETS.
Panel 7 (caption): SOME ARE AFRAID OF DEATH.
Person: I'M ALWAYS TRAINED TO DO ONE THING, AND IF I'M NOT DOING IT... THEN WHAT AM I?
Panel 8 (caption): SOME THINK THEY ARE ALREADY GHOSTS.
Person: I WAS GOOD AT BASKETBALL, BUT THEN I HURT MY ANKLE. NOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME MENTALLY SIMULATING A REALITY WHERE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
Panel 9 (caption): BUT YOU HAVE MANY LIVES.
Person: TWO YEARS TILL I DIE. I WONDER WHAT I'LL DO NEXT...
Panel 10 (caption): SPEND A LIFE WRITING POEMS.
Text: "True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'd / What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed."
Panel 11 (caption): SPEND ANOTHER BUILDING THINGS.
Person 1: IT'S A HOVERBIKE.
Person 2: BECAUSE...?
Person 1: BECAUSE HOVERBIKE!
Panel 12 (caption): SPEND A LIFE LOOKING FOR FACTS.
[A figure beside a chemical/molecular structure.]
Person: HOW?
Panel 13 (caption): AND ANOTHER LOOKING FOR TRUTH.
[A figure beside a chemical/molecular structure.]
Person: WHY?
Panel 14 (caption): THESE ARE YOUR LIFETIMES.
[A row of figures, each wearing a different hat/costume representing different vocations.]
Large text: USE THEM
Votey:
Caption (off-panel voice): ARE YOU IN THERE DRAWING PREACHY COMICS?!
The cartoonist (a person hunched at a desk): NO!
[A white skull on red background.]
Panel 2 (caption): HERE IS SOMETHING FALSE: YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
[A blank-faced person.]
Panel 3 (caption): IT TAKES ABOUT 7 YEARS TO MASTER SOMETHING.
[A graduate in cap and gown reading a book to a standing figure.]
Panel 4 (caption): IF YOU LIVE TO BE 88, AFTER AGE 11, YOU HAVE 11 OPPORTUNITIES TO BE GREAT AT SOMETHING.
[A number line marked 11, 18, 25, 32, 39, 46, 53, 60, 67, 74, 81.]
Panel 5 (caption): THESE ARE YOUR LIFETIMES.
[A row of identical pale faces on a dark blue background.]
Panel 6 (caption): MOST PEOPLE NEVER LET THEMSELVES DIE.
Person: I'VE JUST ALWAYS KNOWN I WAS GOOD AT ORGANIZING SPREADSHEETS.
Panel 7 (caption): SOME ARE AFRAID OF DEATH.
Person: I'M ALWAYS TRAINED TO DO ONE THING, AND IF I'M NOT DOING IT... THEN WHAT AM I?
Panel 8 (caption): SOME THINK THEY ARE ALREADY GHOSTS.
Person: I WAS GOOD AT BASKETBALL, BUT THEN I HURT MY ANKLE. NOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME MENTALLY SIMULATING A REALITY WHERE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
Panel 9 (caption): BUT YOU HAVE MANY LIVES.
Person: TWO YEARS TILL I DIE. I WONDER WHAT I'LL DO NEXT...
Panel 10 (caption): SPEND A LIFE WRITING POEMS.
Text: "True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'd / What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed."
Panel 11 (caption): SPEND ANOTHER BUILDING THINGS.
Person 1: IT'S A HOVERBIKE.
Person 2: BECAUSE...?
Person 1: BECAUSE HOVERBIKE!
Panel 12 (caption): SPEND A LIFE LOOKING FOR FACTS.
[A figure beside a chemical/molecular structure.]
Person: HOW?
Panel 13 (caption): AND ANOTHER LOOKING FOR TRUTH.
[A figure beside a chemical/molecular structure.]
Person: WHY?
Panel 14 (caption): THESE ARE YOUR LIFETIMES.
[A row of figures, each wearing a different hat/costume representing different vocations.]
Large text: USE THEM
Votey:
Caption (off-panel voice): ARE YOU IN THERE DRAWING PREACHY COMICS?!
The cartoonist (a person hunched at a desk): NO!
Alt text
A tall, multi-panel SMBC comic that builds a motivational argument about reinventing yourself across a lifetime. Caption panels read, in order, over simple drawings: "Here is something true: one day you will be dead" (a skull); "Here is something false: you only live once" (a blank-faced person); "It takes about 7 years to master something" (a graduate reading a book to someone); "If you live to be 88, after age 11, you have 11 opportunities to be great at something" (a number line from 11 to 81 in steps of seven). "These are your lifetimes" shows a row of identical faces. "Most people never let themselves die": a person says they've always known they were good at organizing spreadsheets. "Some are afraid of death": a person worries that if they stop doing the one thing they trained for, they don't know what they are. "Some think they are already ghosts": a person dwells on mentally simulating a reality where they never hurt their ankle and could still play basketball. "But you have many lives": a person muses "Two years till I die. I wonder what I'll do next..." The comic then shows lives well spent: "Spend a life writing poems" (a couplet of poetry), "Spend another building things" (someone proudly presents a hoverbike, justified only by "Because hoverbike!"), "Spend a life looking for facts" and "And another looking for truth" (figures beside molecular diagrams asking "How?" and "Why?"). The final panel, "These are your lifetimes," shows a row of figures each in a different costume or hat representing a different calling, with the big words "USE THEM." The bonus votey panel undercuts the earnest tone: an off-panel voice asks the cartoonist, "Are you in there drawing preachy comics?!" and the hunched cartoonist at the desk shouts back "NO!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.