2012-07-29
Original: 2012-07-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bearded man (at a podium, addressing a dog): Welcome to heaven, Doo.
Panel 2:
Man: You lived a pointless life. You chased dark spots on the ground, but in reality they were only the shadows of butterflies.
Panel 3:
Man: You tried over and over to catch a red dot. There was no dot, but the persistent reflection of new photons against a surface.
Dog: WHAT?!
Panel 4:
Man: Though you made love many times, you have no descendants, for your mates were not the females of your species.
Dog: What about Chair? What about Leg?
Panel 5:
Man: Chair was stuffed leather. Leg was a dude's leg.
Dog: NOOOOOO!
Panel 6:
Dog: Noooo... Noooo... Nooo...
Panel 7:
Woman: Oh god honey! I had the most horrible dream. But I know you'll always be there with me, sally, won't you?
Panel 8 (final, switches to a real human scene):
A man sitting on a couch with the dog beside him: I hate when he does this.
Votey:
Dog (thought, looking sidelong): Why is she always hanging out with that guy?
Bearded man (at a podium, addressing a dog): Welcome to heaven, Doo.
Panel 2:
Man: You lived a pointless life. You chased dark spots on the ground, but in reality they were only the shadows of butterflies.
Panel 3:
Man: You tried over and over to catch a red dot. There was no dot, but the persistent reflection of new photons against a surface.
Dog: WHAT?!
Panel 4:
Man: Though you made love many times, you have no descendants, for your mates were not the females of your species.
Dog: What about Chair? What about Leg?
Panel 5:
Man: Chair was stuffed leather. Leg was a dude's leg.
Dog: NOOOOOO!
Panel 6:
Dog: Noooo... Noooo... Nooo...
Panel 7:
Woman: Oh god honey! I had the most horrible dream. But I know you'll always be there with me, sally, won't you?
Panel 8 (final, switches to a real human scene):
A man sitting on a couch with the dog beside him: I hate when he does this.
Votey:
Dog (thought, looking sidelong): Why is she always hanging out with that guy?
Alt text
An eight-panel comic drawn in a flat, simple style. A golden dog has died and stands before a bearded man at a podium in a cloudy heaven. The man delivers a grim eulogy: the dog's life was pointless. It chased dark spots that were only butterfly shadows, and a red dot that was never real, just reflected photons on a surface. The man says the dog has no descendants because its mates were not its own species; when the dog protests 'What about Chair? What about Leg?', the man replies that Chair was stuffed leather and Leg was a dude's leg. The dog wails 'NOOOOOO!' across two panels. The scene then cuts to reality: a woman wakes saying she had a horrible dream and asks her dog 'Sally' if it will always be there with her. In the final panel, a man sits on a couch beside the dog, deadpan, saying 'I hate when he does this.' Votey: a close-up of the dog looking sidelong with a sweat-drop, thinking 'Why is she always hanging out with that guy?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.