2012-07-31
Original: 2012-07-31 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (purple sweater): "Your little boy kicked a girl at school today. Tell him he's naughty!"
Panel 2:
Mother: "Oscar Wilde said, 'As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.'"
Panel 3:
Mother: "I think that's basically true for all immoral behavior. We demonize it, but we forget that demons are cool."
Other woman: "So... what do you do?"
Panel 4:
Mother: "Whenever children do something bad, I spray them so they smell like urine. Then I send them on playdates."
Panel 5:
Mother: "The parents from the neighborhood are sold on my philosophy, so a playdate can be arranged whenever needed."
Panel 6:
Mother: "Over time, the children internalize the shame and associate their naughty impulses with feeling ugly and foolish. They begin to inoculate themselves constantly. Soon... they are perfect little angels."
Panel 7:
Mother (holding a child): "In my day, we just spanked them."
Other woman: "Spanking is immoral, mother."
Votey:
Caption: "SOON..."
A woman shouts at another person: "EAT PARENTING!" while thrusting/punching toward them.
Woman (purple sweater): "Your little boy kicked a girl at school today. Tell him he's naughty!"
Panel 2:
Mother: "Oscar Wilde said, 'As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.'"
Panel 3:
Mother: "I think that's basically true for all immoral behavior. We demonize it, but we forget that demons are cool."
Other woman: "So... what do you do?"
Panel 4:
Mother: "Whenever children do something bad, I spray them so they smell like urine. Then I send them on playdates."
Panel 5:
Mother: "The parents from the neighborhood are sold on my philosophy, so a playdate can be arranged whenever needed."
Panel 6:
Mother: "Over time, the children internalize the shame and associate their naughty impulses with feeling ugly and foolish. They begin to inoculate themselves constantly. Soon... they are perfect little angels."
Panel 7:
Mother (holding a child): "In my day, we just spanked them."
Other woman: "Spanking is immoral, mother."
Votey:
Caption: "SOON..."
A woman shouts at another person: "EAT PARENTING!" while thrusting/punching toward them.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A woman in a purple sweater tells a mother that her little boy kicked a girl at school and she should tell him he's naughty. The mother instead quotes Oscar Wilde about how war stays fascinating while it's seen as wicked but loses popularity once seen as vulgar. She explains she thinks this is true of all immoral behavior: we demonize it but forget that demons are cool. The other woman asks what she does about it. The mother says that whenever children misbehave she sprays them so they smell like urine, then sends them on playdates. The neighborhood parents are sold on her philosophy, so playdates can be arranged whenever needed. Over time the children internalize the shame, associate their naughty impulses with feeling ugly and foolish, and begin inoculating themselves constantly, becoming perfect little angels. In the final panel the mother, holding a child, says that in her day they just spanked them; the other woman replies that spanking is immoral, calling her 'mother.' Votey: a black-bordered panel captioned 'SOON...' shows a woman shouting 'EAT PARENTING!' as she thrusts her fist toward another person's face.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.