2012-03-20
Original: 2012-03-20 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A young Black girl with dark hair (called "Susie" later in the comic) sits at a yellow table across from a bald Black man, smiling slyly. A glass of clear liquid sits on the table.
Panel 2: Close-up of the man's hand rubbing his fingers together over the rim of a glass, as if sprinkling something in.
Sound effect: rub rub rub
Panel 3: Another close-up of the man's hand, still rubbing his fingers together over the glass.
Sound effect: rub rub rub
Panel 4: The man, now shown as an older man with gray hair, glasses, and a green polo shirt, sits in a chair holding a tablet/papers. He addresses the girl across the table (her dark hair visible in the foreground).
Man: "NICE TRY, SUSIE. I WATCHED YOU DO THAT. THERE WAS NO SALT OR SUGAR OR LEMON OR PEPPER FOR YOU TO SLIP INTO MY DRINK THIS TIME."
Panel 5: The girl with dark curly hair looks unsettled/grossed out. A large caption/speech box overhead reads:
"THE HUMAN BODY IS COVERED WITH A FINE LAYER OF SKIN, WHICH EASILY FLAKES OFF, AND WHICH IS SUFFUSED WITH KERATIN, WHICH IS THE PRIMARY SUBSTANCE THAT MAKES UP THE COTTAGE CHEESE-LIKE GLOP INSIDE OF A SEBACEOUS CYST."
Panel 6 (final, two sub-panels): On the left, the older man with glasses and green shirt sits beside the glass of liquid, looking unamused. On the right, two girls talk. A girl with orange/red hair and a yellow shirt:
Red-haired girl: "SO, DID HE GROUND YOU?"
The dark-haired girl (Susie) in a blue shirt: "NO! AND THEN HE GOT ME AN ICE CREAM!"
Red-haired girl: "DADS ARE WEIRD."
Votey:
A close-up of the laughing red-haired girl's face, grinning widely. Speech bubble:
"GO AHEAD. SEARCH YOUTUBE FOR 'SEBACEOUS CYST.' HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Panel 2: Close-up of the man's hand rubbing his fingers together over the rim of a glass, as if sprinkling something in.
Sound effect: rub rub rub
Panel 3: Another close-up of the man's hand, still rubbing his fingers together over the glass.
Sound effect: rub rub rub
Panel 4: The man, now shown as an older man with gray hair, glasses, and a green polo shirt, sits in a chair holding a tablet/papers. He addresses the girl across the table (her dark hair visible in the foreground).
Man: "NICE TRY, SUSIE. I WATCHED YOU DO THAT. THERE WAS NO SALT OR SUGAR OR LEMON OR PEPPER FOR YOU TO SLIP INTO MY DRINK THIS TIME."
Panel 5: The girl with dark curly hair looks unsettled/grossed out. A large caption/speech box overhead reads:
"THE HUMAN BODY IS COVERED WITH A FINE LAYER OF SKIN, WHICH EASILY FLAKES OFF, AND WHICH IS SUFFUSED WITH KERATIN, WHICH IS THE PRIMARY SUBSTANCE THAT MAKES UP THE COTTAGE CHEESE-LIKE GLOP INSIDE OF A SEBACEOUS CYST."
Panel 6 (final, two sub-panels): On the left, the older man with glasses and green shirt sits beside the glass of liquid, looking unamused. On the right, two girls talk. A girl with orange/red hair and a yellow shirt:
Red-haired girl: "SO, DID HE GROUND YOU?"
The dark-haired girl (Susie) in a blue shirt: "NO! AND THEN HE GOT ME AN ICE CREAM!"
Red-haired girl: "DADS ARE WEIRD."
Votey:
A close-up of the laughing red-haired girl's face, grinning widely. Speech bubble:
"GO AHEAD. SEARCH YOUTUBE FOR 'SEBACEOUS CYST.' HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panels 1-3: a young Black girl named Susie sits at a table across from a man, smiling slyly, while close-ups show his hand rubbing his fingers together over a glass of clear liquid (sound effect: rub rub rub). Panel 4: the man, now older with gray hair, glasses, and a green polo, holding a tablet, says: "Nice try, Susie. I watched you do that. There was no salt or sugar or lemon or pepper for you to slip into my drink this time." Panel 5: Susie looks grossed out beneath a caption explaining that the human body is covered in a fine, easily-flaking layer of skin suffused with keratin, the same substance that makes up the cottage-cheese-like glop inside a sebaceous cyst, implying she has secretly contaminated his drink with skin flakes after all. Final panel: a red-haired friend asks "So, did he ground you?" Susie, in a blue shirt, replies "No! And then he got me an ice cream!" The friend says "Dads are weird." Votey: a close-up of the red-haired girl laughing, saying "Go ahead. Search YouTube for 'sebaceous cyst.' HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The joke being that a sebaceous cyst is famously disgusting to look up.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.