2012-01-14
Original: 2012-01-14 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: INFREQUENTLY USED PUNCTUATION MARKS
A GUIDE:
The comic is laid out as a table with three columns: SIGN | MEANING | SAMPLE USAGE.
Row 1:
SIGN: (a backwards/curled question mark)
MEANING: SARCASM (shown as a large stylized reversed question mark)
SAMPLE USAGE: "YOUR SUPPORT FOR COMMONLY HELD VIEWS IS SO BRAVE[sarcasm mark]" — spoken by a man with his hand on his face.
Row 2:
SIGN: (a trapezoid shape)
MEANING: SERIOUSNESS (shown as a large trapezoid with two dots, resembling a face)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I MAY BE DRUNK, BUT I LOVE YOU, DUDE[seriousness mark]" — spoken by a man with stubble to another man.
Row 3:
SIGN: (a curled hook/cane shape)
MEANING: SEXYNESS (shown as a large curled hook-like mark)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I MAY BE DRUNK, BUT I LOVE YOU, DUDE[sexyness mark]" — the same two men, now one leaning suggestively on the other.
Row 4:
SIGN: (a rectangle divided with a triangle/hourglass inside)
MEANING: EXISTENTIAL DREAD (shown as a large rectangle containing a triangular hourglass-like figure)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I SEE YOU HAVE A SEASONAL VARIETY OF ESPRESSO AND MILK ON THE MENU. LET ME TRY IT. PERHAPS IT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY[existential dread mark]" — spoken by a small distant figure to another.
Row 5:
SIGN: (two trapezoids side by side)
MEANING: DOUBLE SERIOUSNESS (*SEE SARCASM) — (shown as two trapezoids with dots side by side)
SAMPLE USAGE: "WOW! COLLEGE FRESHMEN ARE ALWAYS SO INSIGHTFUL[double seriousness mark]" — one figure gesturing to another.
Row 6:
SIGN: (two dots over a curved swoosh, like an ambiguous emoticon)
MEANING: SAID IN SUCH A MANNER THAT IT COULD BE TAKEN AS SERIOUS OR JOKING DEPENDING ON REACTION (shown as two dots above a curved line)
SAMPLE USAGE: "HAHA! WE SHOULD SLEEP TOGETHER[ambiguous mark]" — a grinning man gesturing toward another figure.
Votey:
Title: REJECTED IDEAS FOR TODAY'S COMIC!
(Drawn in rough blue pencil, same table format.)
Row 1:
SIGN: (a question mark / scribbled marks)
MEANING: DESIRE FOR VALIDATION (shown as two large entwined question marks)
SAMPLE USAGE: "HEY DAD, I'M THINKING OF SPENDING A DECADE GETTING THE SAME DEGREE AS YOU. JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU. HOPE YOU HAVE TIME TO REPLY TO THIS VOICEMAIL???"
Row 2:
SIGN: (an inverted-U with exclamation point)
MEANING: THINLY VEILED HATRED (shown as an arch/inverted-U over an exclamation point)
SAMPLE USAGE: "WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING POLITICAL VIEW YOU HAVE[mark]" — spoken by an angry-looking figure to another.
Row 3:
SIGN: (the letter F)
MEANING: THIS SENTENCE ACTUALLY MEANS "FUCK YOU." (shown as a large letter F with a dot)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I'D LOVE IT IF ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS CAME OVER[F]" (the word "CAME" is crossed out) — spoken by a wide-grinning sinister face.
Row 4:
SIGN: (an eye-like scribble)
MEANING: SHAME (shown as a dense scribbled circle)
SAMPLE USAGE: "WHAT BOOKS HAVE I READ? I'M REALLY MORE OF A COMIC PERSON[mark]" — spoken by a small figure with a speech bubble.
A GUIDE:
The comic is laid out as a table with three columns: SIGN | MEANING | SAMPLE USAGE.
Row 1:
SIGN: (a backwards/curled question mark)
MEANING: SARCASM (shown as a large stylized reversed question mark)
SAMPLE USAGE: "YOUR SUPPORT FOR COMMONLY HELD VIEWS IS SO BRAVE[sarcasm mark]" — spoken by a man with his hand on his face.
Row 2:
SIGN: (a trapezoid shape)
MEANING: SERIOUSNESS (shown as a large trapezoid with two dots, resembling a face)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I MAY BE DRUNK, BUT I LOVE YOU, DUDE[seriousness mark]" — spoken by a man with stubble to another man.
Row 3:
SIGN: (a curled hook/cane shape)
MEANING: SEXYNESS (shown as a large curled hook-like mark)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I MAY BE DRUNK, BUT I LOVE YOU, DUDE[sexyness mark]" — the same two men, now one leaning suggestively on the other.
Row 4:
SIGN: (a rectangle divided with a triangle/hourglass inside)
MEANING: EXISTENTIAL DREAD (shown as a large rectangle containing a triangular hourglass-like figure)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I SEE YOU HAVE A SEASONAL VARIETY OF ESPRESSO AND MILK ON THE MENU. LET ME TRY IT. PERHAPS IT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY[existential dread mark]" — spoken by a small distant figure to another.
Row 5:
SIGN: (two trapezoids side by side)
MEANING: DOUBLE SERIOUSNESS (*SEE SARCASM) — (shown as two trapezoids with dots side by side)
SAMPLE USAGE: "WOW! COLLEGE FRESHMEN ARE ALWAYS SO INSIGHTFUL[double seriousness mark]" — one figure gesturing to another.
Row 6:
SIGN: (two dots over a curved swoosh, like an ambiguous emoticon)
MEANING: SAID IN SUCH A MANNER THAT IT COULD BE TAKEN AS SERIOUS OR JOKING DEPENDING ON REACTION (shown as two dots above a curved line)
SAMPLE USAGE: "HAHA! WE SHOULD SLEEP TOGETHER[ambiguous mark]" — a grinning man gesturing toward another figure.
Votey:
Title: REJECTED IDEAS FOR TODAY'S COMIC!
(Drawn in rough blue pencil, same table format.)
Row 1:
SIGN: (a question mark / scribbled marks)
MEANING: DESIRE FOR VALIDATION (shown as two large entwined question marks)
SAMPLE USAGE: "HEY DAD, I'M THINKING OF SPENDING A DECADE GETTING THE SAME DEGREE AS YOU. JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU. HOPE YOU HAVE TIME TO REPLY TO THIS VOICEMAIL???"
Row 2:
SIGN: (an inverted-U with exclamation point)
MEANING: THINLY VEILED HATRED (shown as an arch/inverted-U over an exclamation point)
SAMPLE USAGE: "WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING POLITICAL VIEW YOU HAVE[mark]" — spoken by an angry-looking figure to another.
Row 3:
SIGN: (the letter F)
MEANING: THIS SENTENCE ACTUALLY MEANS "FUCK YOU." (shown as a large letter F with a dot)
SAMPLE USAGE: "I'D LOVE IT IF ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS CAME OVER[F]" (the word "CAME" is crossed out) — spoken by a wide-grinning sinister face.
Row 4:
SIGN: (an eye-like scribble)
MEANING: SHAME (shown as a dense scribbled circle)
SAMPLE USAGE: "WHAT BOOKS HAVE I READ? I'M REALLY MORE OF A COMIC PERSON[mark]" — spoken by a small figure with a speech bubble.
Alt text
A webcomic titled "Infrequently Used Punctuation Marks: A Guide," formatted as a three-column table (SIGN, MEANING, SAMPLE USAGE) in teal tones. Each row invents a new punctuation mark for a tone that text can't normally convey: a reversed question mark for SARCASM ("Your support for commonly held views is so brave[sarcasm]"); a trapezoid-face for SERIOUSNESS ("I may be drunk, but I love you, dude[seriousness]"); a curled hook for SEXYNESS (same line, but now suggestive); a rectangle with an hourglass for EXISTENTIAL DREAD (a coffee-menu line ending "...perhaps it'll make me happy[dread]"); two trapezoids for DOUBLE SERIOUSNESS, footnoted "(*see Sarcasm)" ("Wow! College freshmen are always SO insightful[double-seriousness]"); and two dots over a swoosh for a mark meaning a statement "could be taken as serious or joking depending on reaction" ("Haha! We should sleep together[ambiguous]"). The joke is that each new mark precisely captures awkward, passive-aggressive, or risky social tones. The bonus votey panel, drawn in rough blue pencil and titled "Rejected Ideas For Today's Comic!", adds darker marks: DESIRE FOR VALIDATION (a needy voicemail to Dad), THINLY VEILED HATRED, a mark meaning the sentence "actually means 'fuck you'" (with "came" crossed out for innuendo), and SHAME.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.