2012-01-16
Original: 2012-01-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title page (handwritten on lined notebook paper, in crayon/marker):
How software is made
by Sally
Age: 8
Dedication:
This book is for Daddy. Daddy says a company is like a body. He also says other stuff. This is a book about all that.
Panel: A drawing of a man's body (a company), labeled with a question "Is this a company?" and an arrow.
Text: Management is the head. They get problems they don't understand.
(Drawing of a head/face with a big open mouth and scribbled teeth.)
Text: The problem goes down the next pipe. Like, barfing backward.
Sound effect: bllhh!
(Drawing of a stomach/body shape.)
Text: The engineers live in the stomach. They break the problem into little problems.
(Drawing of a dark scribbled stomach with little labeled bits.)
Text: When they finish, the program gets spit back out onto management.
Management (in a speech bubble): What is this shit?!
(Drawing of an angry creature/cat-like figure.)
Text: Then the hands come. The hands are marketing. They make it pretty.
(Drawing of a hand and a box/screen labeled "KYUB".)
Text: If customers like it, the stomach gets to eat it again and again for years.
(Drawing of a big open mouth eating.)
Text: #2
If customers don't like it, everything in the stomach gets barfed out!
Sound effect: blhh!
(Drawing of purple/scribbled vomit.)
Text: And that's why Daddy stays at home all day drinking Daddy Juice!
(Drawing of a man in a chair drinking from a bottle.)
Text: The End
(Drawing of a small red unicorn-like creature labeled "pony".)
Votey:
(Two-panel framed strip.) A bespectacled man holding the notebook/book reads it. He says: "You forgot the part where the whole body moves to India." A dark-haired woman beside him replies: "That's for the sequel."
How software is made
by Sally
Age: 8
Dedication:
This book is for Daddy. Daddy says a company is like a body. He also says other stuff. This is a book about all that.
Panel: A drawing of a man's body (a company), labeled with a question "Is this a company?" and an arrow.
Text: Management is the head. They get problems they don't understand.
(Drawing of a head/face with a big open mouth and scribbled teeth.)
Text: The problem goes down the next pipe. Like, barfing backward.
Sound effect: bllhh!
(Drawing of a stomach/body shape.)
Text: The engineers live in the stomach. They break the problem into little problems.
(Drawing of a dark scribbled stomach with little labeled bits.)
Text: When they finish, the program gets spit back out onto management.
Management (in a speech bubble): What is this shit?!
(Drawing of an angry creature/cat-like figure.)
Text: Then the hands come. The hands are marketing. They make it pretty.
(Drawing of a hand and a box/screen labeled "KYUB".)
Text: If customers like it, the stomach gets to eat it again and again for years.
(Drawing of a big open mouth eating.)
Text: #2
If customers don't like it, everything in the stomach gets barfed out!
Sound effect: blhh!
(Drawing of purple/scribbled vomit.)
Text: And that's why Daddy stays at home all day drinking Daddy Juice!
(Drawing of a man in a chair drinking from a bottle.)
Text: The End
(Drawing of a small red unicorn-like creature labeled "pony".)
Votey:
(Two-panel framed strip.) A bespectacled man holding the notebook/book reads it. He says: "You forgot the part where the whole body moves to India." A dark-haired woman beside him replies: "That's for the sequel."
Alt text
A tall comic drawn to look like an eight-year-old's homemade picture book on lined notebook paper, in crayon and marker, titled "How software is made, by Sally, Age 8." A dedication reads: "This book is for Daddy. Daddy says a company is like a body." The book then explains software development as a human body: Management is the head, which gets problems it doesn't understand; the problem goes "down the next pipe, like barfing backward" (bllhh!); the engineers live in the stomach and break the problem into little problems; when finished, the program is spit back up onto management, who exclaims "What is this shit?!"; then "the hands" (marketing) make it pretty, shown with a box labeled KYUB; if customers like it the stomach gets to eat it again for years, and if they don't, everything gets barfed out (blhh!, with purple vomit). The final page: "And that's why Daddy stays at home all day drinking Daddy Juice!", drawn as a man slumped in a chair drinking from a bottle, followed by "The End" and a little red unicorn labeled "pony." The childlike drawings are crude figures with scribbled mouths, stomachs, and hands. Votey: a bespectacled man reads the finished book and says, "You forgot the part where the whole body moves to India," and a dark-haired woman replies, "That's for the sequel."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.