2011-12-22
Original: 2011-12-22 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a woman with red hair standing at a podium): Whereafter, war shall be abolished!
Panel 2 (a man in the audience): How do we determine who has rights to territory?
Panel 3 (the woman at the podium): The territory will be made socially awkward. Whoever stays the longest will be the group that desires it. Speaking of which, I own this room.
Panel 4 (a man with long hair and glasses, seated): This room belongs to the university!
Panel 5 (the man with long hair and glasses): I'm currently soiling myself.
Panel 6 (the man with long hair and glasses): Under your seats are photographs of my wife named, bordered by racial slurs.
Panel 7 (a seated woman, conceding): We cede this land to the speaker.
Votey: (close-up, the man with long hair and glasses points emphatically while a woman with glasses looks on) THIS OFFICE BELONGS TO WEINER!
Panel 2 (a man in the audience): How do we determine who has rights to territory?
Panel 3 (the woman at the podium): The territory will be made socially awkward. Whoever stays the longest will be the group that desires it. Speaking of which, I own this room.
Panel 4 (a man with long hair and glasses, seated): This room belongs to the university!
Panel 5 (the man with long hair and glasses): I'm currently soiling myself.
Panel 6 (the man with long hair and glasses): Under your seats are photographs of my wife named, bordered by racial slurs.
Panel 7 (a seated woman, conceding): We cede this land to the speaker.
Votey: (close-up, the man with long hair and glasses points emphatically while a woman with glasses looks on) THIS OFFICE BELONGS TO WEINER!
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired woman stands at a podium and declares that war shall be abolished. A man in the audience asks how they will determine who has rights to territory. She explains that territory will be decided by making the situation socially awkward: whoever stays the longest wants it most, and adds that she therefore owns this room. A long-haired bespectacled man in the audience objects that the room belongs to the university. She escalates the awkwardness: he announces he is currently soiling himself, then declares that under everyone's seats are photographs of his wife bordered by racial slurs. A seated woman gives up, saying they cede this land to the speaker. Votey panel: a hand-drawn close-up of the long-haired man jabbing his finger in the air beside a woman in glasses, shouting THIS OFFICE BELONGS TO WEINER!
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.