2011-12-25
Original: 2011-12-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (in bed, a woman lying awake while a man spoons her from behind):
Woman (thinking): WHY DOES HE KEEP TAPPING ME WITH HIS BONER WHEN HE *KNOWS* THERE'S NO CHANCE OF SEX TONIGHT.
Panel 2 (caption banner: LATER...; the woman sits at a computer in the dark):
Woman (thinking): DAMMIT! OPEN UP, EMAIL! OPEN! I CLICKED! MAYBE IF I KEEP CLICKING, IT'LL EVENTUALLY *OH MY GOD.*
Sound effect: click click click
Panel 3 (close-up on the woman's face, dawning horror):
Woman (thinking): OH MY GOD.
Panel 4 (the woman at the computer, hand resting on the mouse):
Woman (thinking): THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A PENIS.
Votey:
A simple sketch of a person (seen from behind/side) sitting at a computer.
Sound effect: tap tap tap
Woman (thinking): WHY DOES HE KEEP TAPPING ME WITH HIS BONER WHEN HE *KNOWS* THERE'S NO CHANCE OF SEX TONIGHT.
Panel 2 (caption banner: LATER...; the woman sits at a computer in the dark):
Woman (thinking): DAMMIT! OPEN UP, EMAIL! OPEN! I CLICKED! MAYBE IF I KEEP CLICKING, IT'LL EVENTUALLY *OH MY GOD.*
Sound effect: click click click
Panel 3 (close-up on the woman's face, dawning horror):
Woman (thinking): OH MY GOD.
Panel 4 (the woman at the computer, hand resting on the mouse):
Woman (thinking): THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A PENIS.
Votey:
A simple sketch of a person (seen from behind/side) sitting at a computer.
Sound effect: tap tap tap
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a woman lies awake in bed at night while a man spoons her from behind; she thinks, "Why does he keep tapping me with his boner when he KNOWS there's no chance of sex tonight." Panel 2: a "LATER..." banner; she now sits alone at a computer in the dark, clicking her mouse (sound: click click click) and thinking, "Dammit! Open up, email! Open! I clicked! Maybe if I keep clicking, it'll eventually OH MY GOD." Panel 3: an extreme close-up of her face frozen in horror, thinking, "Oh my god." Panel 4: she sits at the computer with her hand on the mouse, thinking, "This is what it's like to have a penis" — realizing her compulsive, futile clicking mirrors his persistent, hopeless tapping. Votey: a small rough doodle of a person at a computer with the sound effect "tap tap tap," echoing the same insistent tapping.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.