2011-12-19
Original: 2011-12-19 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with glasses (to red-haired man): OH. MY. GOD.
(A woman with a shoulder bag and book walks away from them down a sidewalk.)
Panel 2:
Man with glasses: LOOK AT HER ASS.
(The red-haired man and the man with glasses stand together; the woman is now a shadowy figure in the background.)
Panel 3:
Man with glasses (thinking, sweating): IF WE ASSUME IT'S SHAPED LIKE AN ELLIPSE AND THE MIDDLE SEAM REPRESENTS THE ANTIPODAL POINT OF THE SEMIMINOR AXIS, I CAN ESTIMATE THE ASS CIRCUMFERENCE BY DETERMINING WHAT ARC LENGTH IS SWEPT OUT BY THE SEAM DURING ONE CYCLE AND TAKING THE ELLIPTIC INTEGRAL.
(A thought bubble shows an ellipse diagram labeled with axes a, b, c, an angle phi and x, and the equation f(x) = integral from c to x of R(t, sqrt(P(t))) dt.)
Panel 4:
Red-haired man: I GIVE IT AN 8.
Man with glasses: 8.6. WHY ARE WE USING DECIMETERS?
Votey:
Woman (off-panel, in speech bubble): ARE YOU OGLING MY ASS?
Man with glasses: NO, I'M IMAGINING AN IDEALIZATION OF IT.
Man with glasses (to red-haired man): OH. MY. GOD.
(A woman with a shoulder bag and book walks away from them down a sidewalk.)
Panel 2:
Man with glasses: LOOK AT HER ASS.
(The red-haired man and the man with glasses stand together; the woman is now a shadowy figure in the background.)
Panel 3:
Man with glasses (thinking, sweating): IF WE ASSUME IT'S SHAPED LIKE AN ELLIPSE AND THE MIDDLE SEAM REPRESENTS THE ANTIPODAL POINT OF THE SEMIMINOR AXIS, I CAN ESTIMATE THE ASS CIRCUMFERENCE BY DETERMINING WHAT ARC LENGTH IS SWEPT OUT BY THE SEAM DURING ONE CYCLE AND TAKING THE ELLIPTIC INTEGRAL.
(A thought bubble shows an ellipse diagram labeled with axes a, b, c, an angle phi and x, and the equation f(x) = integral from c to x of R(t, sqrt(P(t))) dt.)
Panel 4:
Red-haired man: I GIVE IT AN 8.
Man with glasses: 8.6. WHY ARE WE USING DECIMETERS?
Votey:
Woman (off-panel, in speech bubble): ARE YOU OGLING MY ASS?
Man with glasses: NO, I'M IMAGINING AN IDEALIZATION OF IT.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: two men, one red-haired and one wearing glasses, watch a woman with a book and shoulder bag walk away down a sidewalk. The glasses man says, 'OH. MY. GOD.' Panel 2: the glasses man says 'LOOK AT HER ASS' as the woman recedes into shadow. Panel 3: a close-up of the glasses man's sweating face beside an elaborate thought bubble. He thinks: 'IF WE ASSUME IT'S SHAPED LIKE AN ELLIPSE AND THE MIDDLE SEAM REPRESENTS THE ANTIPODAL POINT OF THE SEMIMINOR AXIS, I CAN ESTIMATE THE ASS CIRCUMFERENCE BY DETERMINING WHAT ARC LENGTH IS SWEPT OUT BY THE SEAM DURING ONE CYCLE AND TAKING THE ELLIPTIC INTEGRAL.' The bubble contains an ellipse diagram with labeled axes and a calculus equation involving an integral. Panel 4: the red-haired man says 'I GIVE IT AN 8'; the glasses man replies, '8.6. WHY ARE WE USING DECIMETERS?' The joke: two men appraise a woman, but the glasses man's leering turns into absurdly rigorous mathematics. Votey (aftercomic): the woman, off-panel, asks 'ARE YOU OGLING MY ASS?' and the glasses man answers, 'NO, I'M IMAGINING AN IDEALIZATION OF IT.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.