2011-12-06
Original: 2011-12-06 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man (interviewer, dark hair): You're the late Superman! Gosh, the poison will kill everyone who drinks water. Water anywhere in a hundred mile radius!
Panel 2:
Superman: Uh ... wel- man ... this is a ... predominantly minority community...
Panel 3:
Superman: Oh ... oh jeez ... I ... this wasn't a racist thing.
Superman: Well, it sure looks otherwise.
Panel 4:
Superman: I just wanted to kill people!
Bald man: Yeah, a certain *type* of people.
Panel 5:
Superman: It's not like that! I don't see color! I see people! People I want to kill!
Bald man: Yeah, and you also *randomly* picked these people.
Panel 6:
Bald man: They have a single shared water supply and don't tend to favor bottled water!
Panel 7:
Superman: Ohhh, so you only kill ABLE minorities.
Bald man: That's why I hurt 2 meant?
Panel 8:
Superman: Too late, Luthor. I'm going to the press and we'll see what the headline is when they find an entire county of impoverished minorities has disappeared.
(End-of-comic marker: "BAD ID")
Votey:
A newspaper page headline: "CELEBRITY NIPPLES: A RETROSPECTIVE"
Body text (parchment-style): "It all begins in 68,000 BC, with Zorg - well known finder of edible tubers and corms. “Oog, oog , oog” was Zorg's only response…"
A man (interviewer, dark hair): You're the late Superman! Gosh, the poison will kill everyone who drinks water. Water anywhere in a hundred mile radius!
Panel 2:
Superman: Uh ... wel- man ... this is a ... predominantly minority community...
Panel 3:
Superman: Oh ... oh jeez ... I ... this wasn't a racist thing.
Superman: Well, it sure looks otherwise.
Panel 4:
Superman: I just wanted to kill people!
Bald man: Yeah, a certain *type* of people.
Panel 5:
Superman: It's not like that! I don't see color! I see people! People I want to kill!
Bald man: Yeah, and you also *randomly* picked these people.
Panel 6:
Bald man: They have a single shared water supply and don't tend to favor bottled water!
Panel 7:
Superman: Ohhh, so you only kill ABLE minorities.
Bald man: That's why I hurt 2 meant?
Panel 8:
Superman: Too late, Luthor. I'm going to the press and we'll see what the headline is when they find an entire county of impoverished minorities has disappeared.
(End-of-comic marker: "BAD ID")
Votey:
A newspaper page headline: "CELEBRITY NIPPLES: A RETROSPECTIVE"
Body text (parchment-style): "It all begins in 68,000 BC, with Zorg - well known finder of edible tubers and corms. “Oog, oog , oog” was Zorg's only response…"
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic, a black comedy interview between Superman and a bald man revealed to be Lex Luthor. Superman, accused of poisoning the water supply of a poor minority community, keeps insisting "I just wanted to kill people!" and "I don't see color! I see people! People I want to kill!" while Luthor points out he conveniently picked a community with a single shared water supply that doesn't drink bottled water. The joke turns on Superman's defensive non-racist protestations while doing something plainly murderous and targeted; he ends by vowing to go to the press, oblivious that exposing a vanished impoverished county only incriminates him. The votey shows a newspaper with the headline "CELEBRITY NIPPLES: A RETROSPECTIVE" whose article absurdly opens with prehistory: "It all begins in 68,000 BC, with Zorg - well known finder of edible tubers and corms. 'Oog, oog, oog' was Zorg's only response..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.