2011-10-06
Original: 2011-10-06 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (single panel):
Flight announcement over the intercom (text in a large yellow caption at the top of the panel):
"BEFORE WE GET UNDERWAY ON BEHALF OF MYSELF AND THE CREW, I WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE IS A NON-ZERO CHANCE WE WILL ALL GO INTO THE DARKNESS TOGETHER, SCREAMING AND SOILING OURSELVES IN A FLAMING METAL HELLBOX, SPEEDING INEXORABLY TOWARD OBLIVION. THE ODDS OF ALL THAT DIMINISH SLIGHTLY IF THE PASSENGER IN 14B WOULD COMPLY WITH OUR REQUEST TO TURN OFF HIS GODDAMN PHONE!"
Scene: the interior of an airplane cabin. A bald, frowning older man sits in an aisle seat holding a cell phone up to his ear. A woman with round glasses sits across the aisle from him, glancing his way. Other passengers are seated farther back, and a person stands in the aisle in the distance. Mountains are visible through the cabin windows.
Votey:
Close-up on the same bald man, scowling, holding the phone. He says: "FASCISTS!"
Flight announcement over the intercom (text in a large yellow caption at the top of the panel):
"BEFORE WE GET UNDERWAY ON BEHALF OF MYSELF AND THE CREW, I WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE IS A NON-ZERO CHANCE WE WILL ALL GO INTO THE DARKNESS TOGETHER, SCREAMING AND SOILING OURSELVES IN A FLAMING METAL HELLBOX, SPEEDING INEXORABLY TOWARD OBLIVION. THE ODDS OF ALL THAT DIMINISH SLIGHTLY IF THE PASSENGER IN 14B WOULD COMPLY WITH OUR REQUEST TO TURN OFF HIS GODDAMN PHONE!"
Scene: the interior of an airplane cabin. A bald, frowning older man sits in an aisle seat holding a cell phone up to his ear. A woman with round glasses sits across the aisle from him, glancing his way. Other passengers are seated farther back, and a person stands in the aisle in the distance. Mountains are visible through the cabin windows.
Votey:
Close-up on the same bald man, scowling, holding the phone. He says: "FASCISTS!"
Alt text
An airplane cabin interior. A bald, frowning older man sits in an aisle seat holding a cell phone to his ear; a woman in round glasses across the aisle glances at him, and other passengers sit behind. A large yellow caption at the top is the captain's intercom announcement: 'Before we get underway on behalf of myself and the crew, I want to remind you that there is a non-zero chance we will all go into the darkness together, screaming and soiling ourselves in a flaming metal hellbox, speeding inexorably toward oblivion. The odds of all that diminish slightly if the passenger in 14B would comply with our request to TURN OFF HIS GODDAMN PHONE!' The joke: an over-the-top morbid safety speech ending in an exasperated demand at one defiant passenger. Votey (bonus panel): a close-up of the same scowling man on his phone, muttering 'FASCISTS!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.