2011-06-25
Original: 2011-06-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (advisor/scientist): Madam President... you wished to see us?
President (woman): You've invented a time machine.
Panel 2:
Man: A tachyon receiver. You can't travel. Just transmit information.
Panel 3:
President: Our democracy allows citizens one presidential vote every four years. So, technically, there'd be nothing wrong with allowing future people to cast votes in future elections.
Panel 4:
Man: True. Except those future people, having voted through your presidency, would know not to vote for you since you used science for evil.
Panel 5:
President: Except they already cast their votes for me, so it's too late.
Panel 6:
Man: But, if you allow future people to vote, the people from four years from now will be mad, and when they become the people from eight years from now, they will vote against you in the current election.
Panel 7:
Man: But... if we assume population keeps growing, the smart thing is to get the population from the furthest future time and court them as a constituency.
President: Uhh...
Panel 8:
(Sign/logo) NEWSNET
Panel 9 (TV news, two reports):
Left report (image of a domed government building): PRESIDENT REFUSES ALL PRESS MEETINGS, REFERS TO PRESENT AS "FUTURE ERA"
Right report (image of a green alien/skeletal creature): DISTANT FUTURE CONSTITUENCY CALLED ON EARTH: "TAKE MORE 'DEM CUTE HUMAN MEAT."
Votey:
(A newspaper) Headline: PRESIDENT TO APOLOGIZE FOR BELIEVING TIME MACHINE HOAX
Subheading/quote: "SORRY 'BOUT ALL THE MURDER."
Man (advisor/scientist): Madam President... you wished to see us?
President (woman): You've invented a time machine.
Panel 2:
Man: A tachyon receiver. You can't travel. Just transmit information.
Panel 3:
President: Our democracy allows citizens one presidential vote every four years. So, technically, there'd be nothing wrong with allowing future people to cast votes in future elections.
Panel 4:
Man: True. Except those future people, having voted through your presidency, would know not to vote for you since you used science for evil.
Panel 5:
President: Except they already cast their votes for me, so it's too late.
Panel 6:
Man: But, if you allow future people to vote, the people from four years from now will be mad, and when they become the people from eight years from now, they will vote against you in the current election.
Panel 7:
Man: But... if we assume population keeps growing, the smart thing is to get the population from the furthest future time and court them as a constituency.
President: Uhh...
Panel 8:
(Sign/logo) NEWSNET
Panel 9 (TV news, two reports):
Left report (image of a domed government building): PRESIDENT REFUSES ALL PRESS MEETINGS, REFERS TO PRESENT AS "FUTURE ERA"
Right report (image of a green alien/skeletal creature): DISTANT FUTURE CONSTITUENCY CALLED ON EARTH: "TAKE MORE 'DEM CUTE HUMAN MEAT."
Votey:
(A newspaper) Headline: PRESIDENT TO APOLOGIZE FOR BELIEVING TIME MACHINE HOAX
Subheading/quote: "SORRY 'BOUT ALL THE MURDER."
Alt text
A tall multi-panel SMBC comic. A male advisor tells a female President she has "invented a time machine." He clarifies it is a tachyon receiver that only transmits information, not a way to travel. The President reasons that since democracy lets citizens vote once every four years, future people could be allowed to cast votes in future elections. The advisor counters that those future voters would know not to re-elect her because she used science for evil; she replies it's too late, they already voted for her. He warns that letting future people vote will anger the people four years out, who in turn will vote against her once they become the eight-years-out voters. He then suggests, if population keeps growing, courting the furthest-future population as a constituency. The President looks unsure. The final panel is a news network ("NEWSNET") broadcast with two reports: one over a domed capitol building reading "PRESIDENT REFUSES ALL PRESS MEETINGS, REFERS TO PRESENT AS 'FUTURE ERA'," and one over a green alien-like creature reading "DISTANT FUTURE CONSTITUENCY CALLED ON EARTH: 'TAKE MORE DEM CUTE HUMAN MEAT.'" Votey: a folded newspaper with the headline "PRESIDENT TO APOLOGIZE FOR BELIEVING TIME MACHINE HOAX" and a smaller quote, "SORRY 'BOUT ALL THE MURDER."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.