2011-03-15
Original: 2011-03-15 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Caption (red banner): GOOD THING: SOMEDAY, LONGEVITY WILL BE DISCOVERED.
A grinning man with dark hair in an orange shirt throws his arms up joyfully.
Man: I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER!
Panel 2:
Caption (red banner): BAD THING: IMAGINE HAVING TO DEAL WITH AN ANCESTOR FROM THE 13TH CENTURY.
An old man with a long white beard and a tall pointed hat (medieval/wizard-like dress) gestures while standing beside a red-haired woman in a green top who looks exasperated.
Old man: WE NEED TO PUT A STICKER IN EVERY ASTRONOMY TEXT! THE COPERNICAN VIEW IS JUST A THEORY!
Panel 3:
Caption (red banner): GOOD THING: IF IT'S DISCOVERED IN YOUR LIFETIME, YOU GET TO BE THE CRAZY ANCESTOR.
A young woman in orange with a cybernetic/prosthetic arm stands with a man wearing high-tech glasses ("ultraglasses"). At left, only the arm and shoulder of the old ancestor is visible, pointing.
Woman: GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA! STOP USING YOUR ULTRAGLASSES TO STARE AT MY WIFE'S BOOBS!
Old ancestor (off-panel left): THAT'S HOW WE DID IT IN THE 21ST CENTURY AND I'M TOO OLD TO CHANGE!
Votey:
The old bald man (the ancestor, now without the pointed hat) speaks.
Old man: ALSO, PANTS WEREN'T INVENTED YET.
Caption (red banner): GOOD THING: SOMEDAY, LONGEVITY WILL BE DISCOVERED.
A grinning man with dark hair in an orange shirt throws his arms up joyfully.
Man: I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER!
Panel 2:
Caption (red banner): BAD THING: IMAGINE HAVING TO DEAL WITH AN ANCESTOR FROM THE 13TH CENTURY.
An old man with a long white beard and a tall pointed hat (medieval/wizard-like dress) gestures while standing beside a red-haired woman in a green top who looks exasperated.
Old man: WE NEED TO PUT A STICKER IN EVERY ASTRONOMY TEXT! THE COPERNICAN VIEW IS JUST A THEORY!
Panel 3:
Caption (red banner): GOOD THING: IF IT'S DISCOVERED IN YOUR LIFETIME, YOU GET TO BE THE CRAZY ANCESTOR.
A young woman in orange with a cybernetic/prosthetic arm stands with a man wearing high-tech glasses ("ultraglasses"). At left, only the arm and shoulder of the old ancestor is visible, pointing.
Woman: GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA! STOP USING YOUR ULTRAGLASSES TO STARE AT MY WIFE'S BOOBS!
Old ancestor (off-panel left): THAT'S HOW WE DID IT IN THE 21ST CENTURY AND I'M TOO OLD TO CHANGE!
Votey:
The old bald man (the ancestor, now without the pointed hat) speaks.
Old man: ALSO, PANTS WEREN'T INVENTED YET.
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic, each panel topped with a red caption banner, riffing on what immortality would actually be like. Panel 1 caption: "GOOD THING: SOMEDAY, LONGEVITY WILL BE DISCOVERED." A grinning dark-haired man in an orange shirt throws his arms up and shouts, "I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER!" Panel 2 caption: "BAD THING: IMAGINE HAVING TO DEAL WITH AN ANCESTOR FROM THE 13TH CENTURY." An old man with a long white beard and a tall pointed medieval hat rants beside an exasperated red-haired woman: "WE NEED TO PUT A STICKER IN EVERY ASTRONOMY TEXT! THE COPERNICAN VIEW IS JUST A THEORY!" Panel 3 caption: "GOOD THING: IF IT'S DISCOVERED IN YOUR LIFETIME, YOU GET TO BE THE CRAZY ANCESTOR." A young woman with a robotic arm scolds her many-greats-grandfather (whose arm pokes in from the left): "GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA! STOP USING YOUR ULTRAGLASSES TO STARE AT MY WIFE'S BOOBS!" Beside her stands a man wearing high-tech glasses. The grandpa replies, "THAT'S HOW WE DID IT IN THE 21ST CENTURY AND I'M TOO OLD TO CHANGE!" The joke: each generation becomes the embarrassing, outdated relative. The votey (a single bonus panel) shows the same bald old man delivering one more dated excuse: "ALSO, PANTS WEREN'T INVENTED YET."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.