2010-11-17
Original: 2010-11-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): WE FOUND AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WITH NO MAXIMUM SPEED.
(An older scientist in a lab coat sits at a desk facing a glowing green torus-shaped device.)
Panel 2 (caption): THIS PERMITS THE EXISTENCE OF INFINITE SPEED WHENEVER XIA'S FIVE-BODY CONFIGURATION RANDOMLY OCCURS.
(A diagram: two pairs of orbiting bodies on the left and right, with a single point mass on a horizontal line in the center marked with left and right arrows.)
Panel 3:
Scientist: THE SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF INFINITE ENERGY CREATES A POINT MASS SO DENSE THAT THE UNIVERSE COLLAPSES.
(The bearded scientist stands at a chalkboard showing the five-body diagram, gesturing with chalk; a student listens in the foreground.)
Panel 4:
Student: WILL YOU BE WRITING A PAPER ON THE IMPLICATIONS FOR HUMAN EXISTENCE IF THERE ARE MULTIPLE UNIVERSES, SOME OF WHICH CANNOT SUSTAIN LIFE?
(The student, smiling, takes notes; the scientist's face is at the right edge.)
Panel 5:
Scientist: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE PHILOSOPHY DEPARTMENT TO YOU?
(Close-up of the scientist looking annoyed.)
Panel 6 (banner): SOON...
Title: MODERN ENGINEERING
Volume 27-18
Headline: PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE TRASH-COMPACTING METHOD IS 400X MORE AWESOME THAN ANYTHING CURRENTLY IN USE.
Abstract: By using a short-burst energy output greater than tha[n] power generation in human history, our team created a temporary [...] (text runs off the bottom edge of the comic).
Votey:
A woman with long hair (one eye visible, mischievous): GONNA MAKE A FIVE BODY PROBLEM PUN IN THE VOTEY? HUH?
The scientist (eyes closed, deadpan): WELL NOT NOW!
(An older scientist in a lab coat sits at a desk facing a glowing green torus-shaped device.)
Panel 2 (caption): THIS PERMITS THE EXISTENCE OF INFINITE SPEED WHENEVER XIA'S FIVE-BODY CONFIGURATION RANDOMLY OCCURS.
(A diagram: two pairs of orbiting bodies on the left and right, with a single point mass on a horizontal line in the center marked with left and right arrows.)
Panel 3:
Scientist: THE SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF INFINITE ENERGY CREATES A POINT MASS SO DENSE THAT THE UNIVERSE COLLAPSES.
(The bearded scientist stands at a chalkboard showing the five-body diagram, gesturing with chalk; a student listens in the foreground.)
Panel 4:
Student: WILL YOU BE WRITING A PAPER ON THE IMPLICATIONS FOR HUMAN EXISTENCE IF THERE ARE MULTIPLE UNIVERSES, SOME OF WHICH CANNOT SUSTAIN LIFE?
(The student, smiling, takes notes; the scientist's face is at the right edge.)
Panel 5:
Scientist: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE PHILOSOPHY DEPARTMENT TO YOU?
(Close-up of the scientist looking annoyed.)
Panel 6 (banner): SOON...
Title: MODERN ENGINEERING
Volume 27-18
Headline: PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE TRASH-COMPACTING METHOD IS 400X MORE AWESOME THAN ANYTHING CURRENTLY IN USE.
Abstract: By using a short-burst energy output greater than tha[n] power generation in human history, our team created a temporary [...] (text runs off the bottom edge of the comic).
Votey:
A woman with long hair (one eye visible, mischievous): GONNA MAKE A FIVE BODY PROBLEM PUN IN THE VOTEY? HUH?
The scientist (eyes closed, deadpan): WELL NOT NOW!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1, a caption over a scientist at a desk facing a glowing green torus device, reads 'We found an alternate universe with no maximum speed.' Panel 2, a caption over an orbital diagram of paired bodies and a central point mass, reads 'This permits the existence of infinite speed whenever Xia's five-body configuration randomly occurs.' Panel 3, the bearded scientist at a chalkboard tells a student, 'The sudden appearance of infinite energy creates a point mass so dense that the universe collapses.' Panel 4, the student, taking notes, asks, 'Will you be writing a paper on the implications for human existence if there are multiple universes, some of which cannot sustain life?' Panel 5, close-up of the now-irritated scientist: 'Does this look like the philosophy department to you?' Panel 6 is a faux journal cover labeled SOON, titled 'Modern Engineering, Volume 27-18,' with the headline 'Prohibitively expensive trash-compacting method is 400x more awesome than anything currently in use,' and an abstract that trails off the bottom edge -- the joke being the world-ending physics gets repurposed into mundane trash compaction. Votey aftercomic: a long-haired woman teases, 'Gonna make a five body problem pun in the votey? Huh?' The deadpan scientist replies, 'Well not now!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.