2010-07-25
Original: 2010-07-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (banner): IN THE FUTURE...
A blond man in glasses and a lab coat sits at a console; a dark-haired woman in a lab coat stands beside him.
Blond scientist: If you travel back in time to change something, you get a paradox. If you change it in the past, you would never have gone back in time to change it.
Panel 2:
Blond scientist: So, there are only two ways to successfully time travel: either send someone so empty-headed, he has no plans whatsoever, or send someone so stupid, he has no chance of success.
Panel 3:
Dark-haired woman: That WOULD explain Hawking's time travel paradox.
Blond scientist: Yep.
Panel 4 (banner): PRESENT DAY...
An older grey-haired man speaks through a speech-synthesizer device (an allusion to Stephen Hawking).
Hawking-like man: If time travel is possible, where are all the time travelers?
Panel 5:
At a sporting event, a red-haired man in a green shirt wearing a foam #1 finger raises his arm and shouts.
Red-haired man: WOOH! FAST CARS GO FAST! FAST CARS GO FAST!
Votey:
A grinning man's face in a rough sketch style.
Man (speech bubble): We will have been #1 !
A blond man in glasses and a lab coat sits at a console; a dark-haired woman in a lab coat stands beside him.
Blond scientist: If you travel back in time to change something, you get a paradox. If you change it in the past, you would never have gone back in time to change it.
Panel 2:
Blond scientist: So, there are only two ways to successfully time travel: either send someone so empty-headed, he has no plans whatsoever, or send someone so stupid, he has no chance of success.
Panel 3:
Dark-haired woman: That WOULD explain Hawking's time travel paradox.
Blond scientist: Yep.
Panel 4 (banner): PRESENT DAY...
An older grey-haired man speaks through a speech-synthesizer device (an allusion to Stephen Hawking).
Hawking-like man: If time travel is possible, where are all the time travelers?
Panel 5:
At a sporting event, a red-haired man in a green shirt wearing a foam #1 finger raises his arm and shouts.
Red-haired man: WOOH! FAST CARS GO FAST! FAST CARS GO FAST!
Votey:
A grinning man's face in a rough sketch style.
Man (speech bubble): We will have been #1 !
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Banner: "IN THE FUTURE..." A blond scientist in glasses and lab coat sits at a console next to a dark-haired woman scientist. He says time travel creates a paradox: changing the past means you'd never have gone back to change it, so the only two ways to successfully time travel are to send someone so empty-headed he has no plans, or so stupid he has no chance of success. The woman replies, "That WOULD explain Hawking's time travel paradox." He says, "Yep." Banner: "PRESENT DAY..." An older grey-haired man speaking through a speech-synthesizer device (an allusion to Stephen Hawking) asks, "If time travel is possible, where are all the time travelers?" Final panel: at a sporting event, a red-haired man in a green shirt wearing a foam #1 finger raises his arm and yells, "WOOH! FAST CARS GO FAST! FAST CARS GO FAST!" — the joke being that the only people who'd bother time-traveling are dim sports fans. Votey: a roughly sketched grinning man says, "We will have been #1!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.