2010-05-26
Original: 2010-05-26 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A bearded man in a suit and red tie stands at a podium, addressing an audience.
Man: CITIZENS... I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE... THE SPACEBRIDGE TO MARS WAS NOT DESIGNED TO SERVE ANY SCIENTIFIC OR ECONOMIC PURPOSE.
Panel 2:
The same man, gesturing.
Man: ALONG WITH THE MASSIVE CONES AND THE SPACE-BILLBOARD, IT FORMED ONE THIRD OF A PLAN TO MAKE EARTH LOOK AS AWESOME AS POSSIBLE.
Panel 3 (left):
Members of the audience react with alarm — a woman in front, a young person, and an older woman behind them.
Woman: THIS IS INSANE!
Panel 3 (right):
A man in the crowd, angry.
Crowd man: NO AMOUNT OF AWESOMENESS COULD JUSTIFY THAT EXPENSE!
Panel 4:
The man at the podium again, looking calm and a little smug.
Man: I BELIEVE YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND... AS EARTH SHIFTS ITS ORBIT...
Panel 5:
A view of space. Earth, fitted with rocket thrusters and giant decorative spikes/cones, is moving on a new orbit. A glowing space-billboard reads: EAT IT VENUS! Venus is visible nearby, looking comparatively plain.
Votey:
A young man with a wry expression.
Man: I STAND CORRECTED.
A bearded man in a suit and red tie stands at a podium, addressing an audience.
Man: CITIZENS... I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE... THE SPACEBRIDGE TO MARS WAS NOT DESIGNED TO SERVE ANY SCIENTIFIC OR ECONOMIC PURPOSE.
Panel 2:
The same man, gesturing.
Man: ALONG WITH THE MASSIVE CONES AND THE SPACE-BILLBOARD, IT FORMED ONE THIRD OF A PLAN TO MAKE EARTH LOOK AS AWESOME AS POSSIBLE.
Panel 3 (left):
Members of the audience react with alarm — a woman in front, a young person, and an older woman behind them.
Woman: THIS IS INSANE!
Panel 3 (right):
A man in the crowd, angry.
Crowd man: NO AMOUNT OF AWESOMENESS COULD JUSTIFY THAT EXPENSE!
Panel 4:
The man at the podium again, looking calm and a little smug.
Man: I BELIEVE YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND... AS EARTH SHIFTS ITS ORBIT...
Panel 5:
A view of space. Earth, fitted with rocket thrusters and giant decorative spikes/cones, is moving on a new orbit. A glowing space-billboard reads: EAT IT VENUS! Venus is visible nearby, looking comparatively plain.
Votey:
A young man with a wry expression.
Man: I STAND CORRECTED.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. In the first two panels, a bearded man in a suit and red tie stands at a podium and confesses to an audience that the 'spacebridge to Mars' had no scientific or economic purpose — along with 'massive cones' and a 'space-billboard,' it was one third of a plan to make Earth look as awesome as possible. The crowd reacts in outrage: a woman shouts 'This is insane!' and another man yells 'No amount of awesomeness could justify that expense!' The speaker calmly replies he believes they'll change their minds 'as Earth shifts its orbit.' The final wide panel shows Earth in space, now decorated with giant spikes/cones and fitted with thrusters, moving to a new orbit, with a glowing billboard reading 'EAT IT VENUS!' while a plain-looking Venus sits nearby. Votey: a young man says with a wry look, 'I stand corrected.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.