2010-05-04
Original: 2010-05-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): JESUS DECIDED TO TURN WATER INTO WINE.
Scene: A bearded man with a golden halo (Jesus) stands at right beside a stone basin/jar, dipping his hand toward it, surrounded by several onlookers.
Panel 2 (caption): THE WATER'S HYDROGEN ATOMS FUSED TO FORM THE CARBON RINGS IN WINE.
Scene: A diagram of six yellow circles each labeled "H" (hydrogen atoms), with arrows all pointing inward toward a central point.
Panel 3 (caption): THE RESULTING EXPLOSION DESTROYED EVERYTHING FOR HUNDREDS OF MILES.
Scene: A massive yellow-and-orange explosion fills the panel, with the small figure of Jesus standing at its glowing blue center.
Panel 4 (caption): BUT... HE GOT THINGS BETTER ON THE SECOND TRY.
Jesus (speech bubble): BEHOLD! I AM JESUS! KING OF THE... JEWS.
Scene: Jesus holds up a yellow placard/cue card. The card reads "ATLANTIANS" crossed out, with "JEWS" written below it. A crowd of people watches with unimpressed expressions.
Votey:
Title (caption): WHAT HE SHOULD'VE DONE
A masked man (drawn in black-and-white) holds a sheaf of papers/cards and declares (speech bubble): I AM EXPLODO-MAN, KING OF THE JEWS!
Artist signature in panel: ZENRI / ENRI.
Scene: A bearded man with a golden halo (Jesus) stands at right beside a stone basin/jar, dipping his hand toward it, surrounded by several onlookers.
Panel 2 (caption): THE WATER'S HYDROGEN ATOMS FUSED TO FORM THE CARBON RINGS IN WINE.
Scene: A diagram of six yellow circles each labeled "H" (hydrogen atoms), with arrows all pointing inward toward a central point.
Panel 3 (caption): THE RESULTING EXPLOSION DESTROYED EVERYTHING FOR HUNDREDS OF MILES.
Scene: A massive yellow-and-orange explosion fills the panel, with the small figure of Jesus standing at its glowing blue center.
Panel 4 (caption): BUT... HE GOT THINGS BETTER ON THE SECOND TRY.
Jesus (speech bubble): BEHOLD! I AM JESUS! KING OF THE... JEWS.
Scene: Jesus holds up a yellow placard/cue card. The card reads "ATLANTIANS" crossed out, with "JEWS" written below it. A crowd of people watches with unimpressed expressions.
Votey:
Title (caption): WHAT HE SHOULD'VE DONE
A masked man (drawn in black-and-white) holds a sheaf of papers/cards and declares (speech bubble): I AM EXPLODO-MAN, KING OF THE JEWS!
Artist signature in panel: ZENRI / ENRI.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1, captioned "Jesus decided to turn water into wine," shows a haloed, bearded Jesus dipping his hand into a stone jar while onlookers watch. Panel 2, captioned "The water's hydrogen atoms fused to form the carbon rings in wine," shows a diagram of six yellow circles labeled H with arrows converging to a central point, implying nuclear fusion. Panel 3, captioned "The resulting explosion destroyed everything for hundreds of miles," shows a giant fiery explosion with tiny Jesus glowing at its center. Panel 4, captioned "But... he got things better on the second try," shows Jesus holding a cue card and announcing "Behold! I am Jesus! King of the... Jews." The card reads "Atlantians" crossed out and "Jews" written underneath, suggesting his first attempt wiped out a whole civilization. The joke: turning water to wine via hydrogen fusion would cause a catastrophic blast, and Jesus had to retry, switching his audience from the now-destroyed Atlantians to the Jews. Votey (bonus panel), titled "What he should've done," shows a masked black-and-white superhero figure holding papers and proclaiming "I am Explodo-Man, King of the Jews!" — joking he should have leaned into the explosive power as a superhero identity.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.