2010-05-02
Original: 2010-05-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (header banner): THE DEBATE...
Woman scientist in lab coat (red hair, round glasses): Sexual reproduction can't be explained with current theory! Why should an organism transmit only half its DNA forward?!
Woman scientist: That only works under a restricted parameter space!
Man facing her (in profile): You forgot the Red Queen Hypothesis!
Panel 2 (header banner): THE TRUTH...
Caption box: 570 million years ago: The first life form with a penis.
The first life form (a small yellow blob): Oh... my... God...
Panel 3:
Caption box: I'm gonna put this in EVERYTHING.
(The yellow blob/penis-bearing organism, shown from another angle.)
Votey:
Caption box at top: 10 SECONDS AFTER THE FIRST PENIS
The blob organism: I hope this thing is above average.
Woman scientist in lab coat (red hair, round glasses): Sexual reproduction can't be explained with current theory! Why should an organism transmit only half its DNA forward?!
Woman scientist: That only works under a restricted parameter space!
Man facing her (in profile): You forgot the Red Queen Hypothesis!
Panel 2 (header banner): THE TRUTH...
Caption box: 570 million years ago: The first life form with a penis.
The first life form (a small yellow blob): Oh... my... God...
Panel 3:
Caption box: I'm gonna put this in EVERYTHING.
(The yellow blob/penis-bearing organism, shown from another angle.)
Votey:
Caption box at top: 10 SECONDS AFTER THE FIRST PENIS
The blob organism: I hope this thing is above average.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Top section labeled "THE DEBATE...": A woman scientist in a lab coat with red hair and round glasses argues with a man, "Sexual reproduction can't be explained with current theory! Why should an organism transmit only half its DNA forward?!" and "That only works under a restricted parameter space!" The man replies, "You forgot the Red Queen Hypothesis!" Bottom section labeled "THE TRUTH...": A caption reads "570 million years ago: The first life form with a penis," shown as a small yellow blob saying "Oh... my... God..." The final panel's caption reads "I'm gonna put this in EVERYTHING," implying the real evolutionary driver was crude enthusiasm rather than theory. Votey (bonus panel): Captioned "10 seconds after the first penis," the same blob organism worries, "I hope this thing is above average."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.