2009-10-16
Original: 2009-10-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Red-haired boy (holding a book labeled "HOLY BIBLE"): Father, this book is full of gaps. For one thing, if God is all good and all powerful, why is there suffering?
Panel 2:
Priest (bald, glasses, clerical collar): Human understanding on that point is imperfect.
Priest: Right. So shouldn't we teach the controversy? For example, the scientific view.
Panel 3:
The priest holds up a yellow card facing the boy. Card text:
• NATURE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HUMANS
• HUMANS ARE DICKS TO EACH OTHER
Q.E.D. SUFFERING
Panel 4:
Priest: This is because of my sermon on teaching theodicy in biology class.
Priest: Yup.
Panel 5:
(Wide shot of a church congregation. The boy stands at the front near the priest.)
Boy: Okay, fair. But why'd you have to bring it up in the middle of church?
Panel 6:
(Close-up of the boy again as the priest holds up the same yellow card.) Card text:
• NATURE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HUMANS
• HUMANS ARE DICKS TO EACH OTHER
Q.E.D. SUFFERING
Votey:
A framed list titled "HISTORICAL SOLUTIONS TO THE 'PROBLEM OF EVIL'":
• SATAN
• FREE WILL
• PRIVATIO BONI
• WE'RE ALL DICKS
Red-haired boy (holding a book labeled "HOLY BIBLE"): Father, this book is full of gaps. For one thing, if God is all good and all powerful, why is there suffering?
Panel 2:
Priest (bald, glasses, clerical collar): Human understanding on that point is imperfect.
Priest: Right. So shouldn't we teach the controversy? For example, the scientific view.
Panel 3:
The priest holds up a yellow card facing the boy. Card text:
• NATURE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HUMANS
• HUMANS ARE DICKS TO EACH OTHER
Q.E.D. SUFFERING
Panel 4:
Priest: This is because of my sermon on teaching theodicy in biology class.
Priest: Yup.
Panel 5:
(Wide shot of a church congregation. The boy stands at the front near the priest.)
Boy: Okay, fair. But why'd you have to bring it up in the middle of church?
Panel 6:
(Close-up of the boy again as the priest holds up the same yellow card.) Card text:
• NATURE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HUMANS
• HUMANS ARE DICKS TO EACH OTHER
Q.E.D. SUFFERING
Votey:
A framed list titled "HISTORICAL SOLUTIONS TO THE 'PROBLEM OF EVIL'":
• SATAN
• FREE WILL
• PRIVATIO BONI
• WE'RE ALL DICKS
Alt text
A six-panel comic. Panel 1: a red-haired boy holding a "HOLY BIBLE" asks a priest, "Father, this book is full of gaps. For one thing, if God is all good and all powerful, why is there suffering?" Panel 2: the bald, bespectacled priest replies, "Human understanding on that point is imperfect. Right. So shouldn't we teach the controversy? For example, the scientific view." Panel 3: the priest holds up a yellow card reading: "Nature doesn't care about humans. Humans are dicks to each other. Q.E.D. Suffering." Panel 4: the priest explains, "This is because of my sermon on teaching theodicy in biology class. Yup." Panel 5: a wide shot reveals they are standing at the front of a full church congregation; the boy says, "Okay, fair. But why'd you have to bring it up in the middle of church?" Panel 6: the priest again holds up the same yellow card with the same answer. The joke pokes at the "teach the controversy" creationist line by flipping it onto religion itself. Votey: a framed sign titled "Historical solutions to the 'problem of evil'" lists: Satan, Free Will, Privatio Boni, We're All Dicks.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.