2009-10-12
Original: 2009-10-12 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A blue circle (an electron, marked with a minus sign) zooms across the frame trailing motion lines.
Caption: AN ELECTRON TRAVELS AT HIGH ENERGY.
Panel 2: The electron approaches a tall red barrier, its path now drawn as a wave-like probability hump.
Caption: ALTHOUGH YOU ENVISION A PARTICLE, IT IS, IN FACT, A PROBABILITY DISTRIBUTION.
Panel 3: Two electrons shown with arrows — one bouncing back off the red barrier, one passing through it. A wavy line (the wavefunction) crosses the barrier and continues, smaller, on the other side.
Caption: A CLASSICAL PARTICLE REFLECTS OFF A BARRIER, BUT QUANTUM MECHANICS TELLS US THERE IS SOME PROBABILITY IT WILL PENETRATE.
Panel 4: A balding older man with a frowning, worried expression in a yellow shirt. A series of speech captions/bubbles around him.
Unseen speaker (caption): SO, THERE IS A SMALL BUT REAL PROBABILITY—
Unseen speaker (speech bubble): ANOTHER MAN'S SPERM CAN'T QUANTUM TUNNEL INTO YOUR UTERUS.
Unseen speaker (caption): WELL, PROBABILISTICALLY—
The man (speech bubble): I'M A MATHEMATICIAN.
Unseen speaker (caption): HAVE I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT MULTIVERSE THEORY?
Votey: The same man, holding a paper and reading from it through his glasses.
Man: I CALCULATE THE ODDS AS ROUGHLY 1/(2024) SO— GODDAMMIT SHELLY! GET OFF OF THAT UNDERGRAD!
Caption: AN ELECTRON TRAVELS AT HIGH ENERGY.
Panel 2: The electron approaches a tall red barrier, its path now drawn as a wave-like probability hump.
Caption: ALTHOUGH YOU ENVISION A PARTICLE, IT IS, IN FACT, A PROBABILITY DISTRIBUTION.
Panel 3: Two electrons shown with arrows — one bouncing back off the red barrier, one passing through it. A wavy line (the wavefunction) crosses the barrier and continues, smaller, on the other side.
Caption: A CLASSICAL PARTICLE REFLECTS OFF A BARRIER, BUT QUANTUM MECHANICS TELLS US THERE IS SOME PROBABILITY IT WILL PENETRATE.
Panel 4: A balding older man with a frowning, worried expression in a yellow shirt. A series of speech captions/bubbles around him.
Unseen speaker (caption): SO, THERE IS A SMALL BUT REAL PROBABILITY—
Unseen speaker (speech bubble): ANOTHER MAN'S SPERM CAN'T QUANTUM TUNNEL INTO YOUR UTERUS.
Unseen speaker (caption): WELL, PROBABILISTICALLY—
The man (speech bubble): I'M A MATHEMATICIAN.
Unseen speaker (caption): HAVE I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT MULTIVERSE THEORY?
Votey: The same man, holding a paper and reading from it through his glasses.
Man: I CALCULATE THE ODDS AS ROUGHLY 1/(2024) SO— GODDAMMIT SHELLY! GET OFF OF THAT UNDERGRAD!
Alt text
A four-panel comic explaining quantum tunneling, then turning it into an awkward relationship argument. Panel 1: a blue electron (marked with a minus sign) streaks across the frame; caption: 'An electron travels at high energy.' Panel 2: the electron nears a red barrier, its path drawn as a wave; caption: 'Although you envision a particle, it is, in fact, a probability distribution.' Panel 3: arrows show one electron bouncing off the red barrier and one passing through, with a wavefunction continuing weakly on the far side; caption: 'A classical particle reflects off a barrier, but quantum mechanics tells us there is some probability it will penetrate.' Panel 4: a frowning balding man in a yellow shirt is being lectured. The unseen speaker says: 'So, there is a small but real probability— another man's sperm can't quantum tunnel into your uterus.' The man replies flatly, 'I'm a mathematician.' The speaker pivots: 'Well, probabilistically—' then 'Have I talked to you about multiverse theory?' The joke: he's using physics to express paranoid jealousy. Votey: the same man reads from a paper, 'I calculate the odds as roughly 1/(2024), so—' then abruptly shouts, 'Goddammit Shelly! Get off of that undergrad!'—revealing his fears are well-founded.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.