2009-10-09
Original: 2009-10-09 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A scene set among sperm cells swimming through a red environment toward a large egg. One sperm has a small human-like yellow face.
Panel 2: A sperm with a face speaks to another sperm.
Sperm with face: STOP! You don't want to impregnate that egg! Sure, it's what you're told you want, but you'll lose your individuality!
Panel 3: A second sperm (with a small yellow face) responds.
Second sperm: Technically, I would combine my individuality with another individual. The Ship of Theseus problem tells us life is not a singular experience, but an ongoing flux of experiences.
Panel 4: The first sperm replies.
First sperm: Well, we should define "experience" vis-a-vis sensory input, and the possibility of intuitive understanding.
Panel 5: Scene shifts to a study lined with bookshelves. A young man (student) speaks to an older bald man with glasses (the professor).
Student: Professor, how come philosophers never have philosopher kids?
Professor: Well...
Votey: A rough sketch of two sperm cells near an egg. One sperm shoots forward toward the egg, leaving motion lines behind it, while the other sperm shouts after it.
Shouting sperm: SELL OUT!
Panel 2: A sperm with a face speaks to another sperm.
Sperm with face: STOP! You don't want to impregnate that egg! Sure, it's what you're told you want, but you'll lose your individuality!
Panel 3: A second sperm (with a small yellow face) responds.
Second sperm: Technically, I would combine my individuality with another individual. The Ship of Theseus problem tells us life is not a singular experience, but an ongoing flux of experiences.
Panel 4: The first sperm replies.
First sperm: Well, we should define "experience" vis-a-vis sensory input, and the possibility of intuitive understanding.
Panel 5: Scene shifts to a study lined with bookshelves. A young man (student) speaks to an older bald man with glasses (the professor).
Student: Professor, how come philosophers never have philosopher kids?
Professor: Well...
Votey: A rough sketch of two sperm cells near an egg. One sperm shoots forward toward the egg, leaving motion lines behind it, while the other sperm shouts after it.
Shouting sperm: SELL OUT!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panels 1-4 depict sperm cells swimming through a red environment toward a large egg; two of the sperm have small human-like faces and are having a philosophical debate. One sperm urges: "STOP! You don't want to impregnate that egg! Sure, it's what you're told you want, but you'll lose your individuality!" The other counters with the Ship of Theseus problem, arguing life is an ongoing flux of experiences rather than a singular one, and they continue debating how to define "experience" relative to sensory input. Panel 5 cuts to a book-lined study where a young student asks a bald, bespectacled professor, "Professor, how come philosophers never have philosopher kids?" The professor answers, "Well..." The joke: the over-intellectualizing sperm are too busy philosophizing to fertilize the egg, so philosophers fail to reproduce. Votey (a crude sketch aftercomic): one sperm finally races toward the egg with motion lines while the other shouts after it, "SELL OUT!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.