2008-09-02
Original: 2008-09-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title banner: MANAGEMENT TIPS: EMPLOYEE INCENTIVES DON'T WORK IF THEY'RE CREEPY
Panel 1: A bald businessman in a light blue shirt and purple tie, holding a red folder, addresses his employees at a meeting.
Businessman: "Sales are down 5%! Guess I'll be keeping all this ILLEGAL PORNOGRAPHY to myself."
Panel 2: A view of the employees seated at the table, including a man in a red shirt looking unimpressed, and a woman with orange/red hair. They react with discomfort.
Votey:
A hand-drawn bar chart labeled "PRODUCTIVITY:" with four bars along the bottom labeled MARY, JOE, STEVE, and ZACH. Mary, Joe, and Steve have very short red bars; Zach has one enormous, towering blue bar dwarfing all the others.
Panel 1: A bald businessman in a light blue shirt and purple tie, holding a red folder, addresses his employees at a meeting.
Businessman: "Sales are down 5%! Guess I'll be keeping all this ILLEGAL PORNOGRAPHY to myself."
Panel 2: A view of the employees seated at the table, including a man in a red shirt looking unimpressed, and a woman with orange/red hair. They react with discomfort.
Votey:
A hand-drawn bar chart labeled "PRODUCTIVITY:" with four bars along the bottom labeled MARY, JOE, STEVE, and ZACH. Mary, Joe, and Steve have very short red bars; Zach has one enormous, towering blue bar dwarfing all the others.
Alt text
A two-panel SMBC comic with a yellow title banner reading "MANAGEMENT TIPS: EMPLOYEE INCENTIVES DON'T WORK IF THEY'RE CREEPY." In the first panel, a bald businessman in a blue shirt and purple tie holds a red folder and announces to his staff, "Sales are down 5%! Guess I'll be keeping all this ILLEGAL PORNOGRAPHY to myself." The second panel shows his unimpressed, uncomfortable employees seated at a table, including a man in a red shirt and a woman with orange hair. The joke: offering illegal pornography as a sales incentive is deeply creepy and doesn't motivate anyone. Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn bar chart titled "PRODUCTIVITY:" with four employees listed along the bottom (Mary, Joe, Steve, Zach). Mary, Joe, and Steve have tiny red bars, while Zach has one gigantic blue bar towering over the rest, implying Zach is the lone, disturbingly enthusiastic responder to the creepy incentive.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.