2006-07-11
Original: 2006-07-11 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: SUICIDE FLOWCHART
A flowchart with five labeled boxes connected by arrows.
Green box (top left): "SHOOT YOURSELF."
Blue box (bottom middle): "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING."
Red/pink box (bottom right): "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS."
Yellow box (top right): "DIE."
Arrows:
- "SHOOT YOURSELF." leads directly to "DIE."
- "SHOOT YOURSELF." also leads down to "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING."
- "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING." leads to "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS."
- "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS." leads up to "DIE."
Votey:
Caption (top): "Reading this ten years later"
A distressed-looking older person with long hair and a beard, frowning.
Speech bubble: "What asshole writes this shit?!"
A flowchart with five labeled boxes connected by arrows.
Green box (top left): "SHOOT YOURSELF."
Blue box (bottom middle): "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING."
Red/pink box (bottom right): "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS."
Yellow box (top right): "DIE."
Arrows:
- "SHOOT YOURSELF." leads directly to "DIE."
- "SHOOT YOURSELF." also leads down to "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING."
- "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING." leads to "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS."
- "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS." leads up to "DIE."
Votey:
Caption (top): "Reading this ten years later"
A distressed-looking older person with long hair and a beard, frowning.
Speech bubble: "What asshole writes this shit?!"
Alt text
A comic titled "SUICIDE FLOWCHART" showing a flowchart of five colored boxes. A green "SHOOT YOURSELF" box has two arrows: one straight to a yellow "DIE" box, and one down to a blue "REALIZE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING" box. That blue box points to a red "OFFICE JOB FOR SIXTY YEARS" box, which then points up to the same yellow "DIE" box — the joke being that every path, whether you give up immediately or choose to live, ends in death anyway. Votey aftercomic, captioned "Reading this ten years later": a distressed older bearded person with a pained frown says in a speech bubble, "What asshole writes this shit?!" — the author recoiling at their own grim younger humor.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.