Summary
Original: Summary on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A bespectacled man in a suit stands at a podium, speaking into a microphone.
Man: IN SUMMARY THE CHANGE IN THE RATE OF GROWTH DURING THE LAST 12 QUARTERS IS, AFTER SEASONAL ADJUSTMENT AND NET OF COMPOSITIONAL EFFECTS, STATISTICALLY INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE PRIOR REVISION. SUBSCRIBERS CAN SEE MY ASS. THANK YOU.
Caption: The Bureau of Labor Statistics got a lot better after it made an OnlyFans account.
Votey:
Close-up of the same bespectacled man at the podium.
Man: MY ASS IS AVAILABLE LOGARITHMIC FOR PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS.
A bespectacled man in a suit stands at a podium, speaking into a microphone.
Man: IN SUMMARY THE CHANGE IN THE RATE OF GROWTH DURING THE LAST 12 QUARTERS IS, AFTER SEASONAL ADJUSTMENT AND NET OF COMPOSITIONAL EFFECTS, STATISTICALLY INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE PRIOR REVISION. SUBSCRIBERS CAN SEE MY ASS. THANK YOU.
Caption: The Bureau of Labor Statistics got a lot better after it made an OnlyFans account.
Votey:
Close-up of the same bespectacled man at the podium.
Man: MY ASS IS AVAILABLE LOGARITHMIC FOR PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS.
Alt text
A man in glasses and a suit stands at a podium with a microphone, delivering a dense bureaucratic statistics report: 'In summary the change in the rate of growth during the last 12 quarters is, after seasonal adjustment and net of compositional effects, statistically indistinguishable from the prior revision. Subscribers can see my ass. Thank you.' The caption reads: 'The Bureau of Labor Statistics got a lot better after it made an OnlyFans account.' Votey: a close-up of the same man at the podium adding, 'My ass is available logarithmic for premium subscribers.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.