Time
Original: Time on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A figure lies in a bed (hospital-style bed with rails). A caption/thought reads: "GOD, WHAT IS TIME? IF NO ONE ASKS ME, I KNOW; IF I WISH TO EXPLAIN IT TO ONE WHO ASKS, I DON'T KNOW."
Reply (yellow speech bubble, from offscreen): "ARE YOU STUPID?"
Panel 2: Caption: "WHAT IS DISTANCE?" A man with orange/flame-like hair stands looking puzzled.
Panel 3: The orange-haired man points one finger. Speech bubble: "THIS."
Panel 4: Caption: "WHAT IS TIME?" The orange-haired man stands, uncertain.
Panel 5: Close-up of the orange-haired man's face, blank/thinking.
Panel 6: The orange-haired man. Speech bubble: "THAT. THAT WAS TIME."
Panel 7: Caption: "BUT WHAT IS IT?" Speech bubble: "TIME." Below: "THAT'S CIRCULAR."
Panel 8: Caption: "WHAT WAS THE THING YOUR FINGERS DID?" The orange-haired man replies: "DISTANCE."
Panel 9: The orange-haired man, speech bubble: "HUH."
Panel 10: A silhouette of a head. Speech bubble: "I GUESS THE DIFFERENCE IS I FEEL I UNDERSTAND DISTANCE BECAUSE I CAN MEASURE IT WITH A STICK."
Panel 11: Yellow speech bubble (reply from offscreen): "ANOTHER DIFFERENCE IS THAT YOU'RE NOT WAGGING MY STICK RIGHT NOW."
Votey:
A speech bubble from offscreen: "ALL-LOVING GOD, MY ASS."
From a small head at the bottom of the panel: "WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT'D YOU SAY?"
Reply (yellow speech bubble, from offscreen): "ARE YOU STUPID?"
Panel 2: Caption: "WHAT IS DISTANCE?" A man with orange/flame-like hair stands looking puzzled.
Panel 3: The orange-haired man points one finger. Speech bubble: "THIS."
Panel 4: Caption: "WHAT IS TIME?" The orange-haired man stands, uncertain.
Panel 5: Close-up of the orange-haired man's face, blank/thinking.
Panel 6: The orange-haired man. Speech bubble: "THAT. THAT WAS TIME."
Panel 7: Caption: "BUT WHAT IS IT?" Speech bubble: "TIME." Below: "THAT'S CIRCULAR."
Panel 8: Caption: "WHAT WAS THE THING YOUR FINGERS DID?" The orange-haired man replies: "DISTANCE."
Panel 9: The orange-haired man, speech bubble: "HUH."
Panel 10: A silhouette of a head. Speech bubble: "I GUESS THE DIFFERENCE IS I FEEL I UNDERSTAND DISTANCE BECAUSE I CAN MEASURE IT WITH A STICK."
Panel 11: Yellow speech bubble (reply from offscreen): "ANOTHER DIFFERENCE IS THAT YOU'RE NOT WAGGING MY STICK RIGHT NOW."
Votey:
A speech bubble from offscreen: "ALL-LOVING GOD, MY ASS."
From a small head at the bottom of the panel: "WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT'D YOU SAY?"
Alt text
An eleven-panel SMBC comic riffing on Augustine's famous remark about time. Panel 1: someone lies in a bed and thinks the Augustine quote: "God, what is time? If no one asks me, I know; if I wish to explain it to one who asks, I don't know." A voice snaps back, "Are you stupid?" The rest of the comic is an exchange with an orange-haired man. Asked "What is distance?" he points a finger and says "This." Asked "What is time?" he pauses, then says "That. That was time." Told that defining time as "time" is circular, he realizes the finger gesture he used for distance was actually distance, and admits "Huh." In silhouette he reflects, "I guess the difference is I feel I understand distance because I can measure it with a stick." The voice replies, "Another difference is that you're not wagging my stick right now." Votey: the offscreen voice mutters "All-loving God, my ass," and a small head pipes up, "What was that? What'd you say?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.