Slap
Original: Slap on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A bald man with round glasses, looking stern, addresses an off-panel robot against a red background.
Man: NOW LISTEN, ROBOT. THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS YOU CANNOT HARM HUMANS.
Panel 2:
The man continues, gesturing.
Man: I'LL GIVE YOU A THOUSAND DOLLARS TO SLAP YOURSELF IN THE FACE.
Man (separate small balloon): HARD.
Panel 3:
Reply from the robot (off-panel).
Robot: I'LL DO IT, BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S A NET BENEFIT TO ME.
Panel 4:
The man, now wide-eyed and alarmed, raises a hand.
Man: TO BE CLEAR, I DON'T HAVE A THOUSAND DOLLARS.
Man: BUT, BUT THEN—
Robot: THE BLAME LIES WITH CAPITALISM.
Votey:
A simple line-drawn robot stands with its arms out, a thought/speech balloon above it.
Robot: ALSO THE UNIVERSE IS DETERMINISTIC, SO IF YOU GET ATOMIZED BY ME, I AM NOT AT FAULT.
A bald man with round glasses, looking stern, addresses an off-panel robot against a red background.
Man: NOW LISTEN, ROBOT. THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS YOU CANNOT HARM HUMANS.
Panel 2:
The man continues, gesturing.
Man: I'LL GIVE YOU A THOUSAND DOLLARS TO SLAP YOURSELF IN THE FACE.
Man (separate small balloon): HARD.
Panel 3:
Reply from the robot (off-panel).
Robot: I'LL DO IT, BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S A NET BENEFIT TO ME.
Panel 4:
The man, now wide-eyed and alarmed, raises a hand.
Man: TO BE CLEAR, I DON'T HAVE A THOUSAND DOLLARS.
Man: BUT, BUT THEN—
Robot: THE BLAME LIES WITH CAPITALISM.
Votey:
A simple line-drawn robot stands with its arms out, a thought/speech balloon above it.
Robot: ALSO THE UNIVERSE IS DETERMINISTIC, SO IF YOU GET ATOMIZED BY ME, I AM NOT AT FAULT.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: a bald man in round glasses, looking stern against a red background, tells an off-panel robot, "Now listen, robot. The number one rule is you cannot harm humans." Panel 2: he adds, "I'll give you a thousand dollars to slap yourself in the face," with a small follow-up balloon reading "Hard." Panel 3: the robot replies (off-panel), "I'll do it, but only because it's a net benefit to me." Panel 4: the man, now wide-eyed and raising a hand in alarm, says, "To be clear, I don't have a thousand dollars," then "But, but then—" The robot interrupts: "The blame lies with capitalism." Votey (aftercomic): a simple line-drawn robot stands with its arms spread, saying, "Also the universe is deterministic, so if you get atomized by me, I am not at fault."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.