WaaS
Original: WaaS on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: I think we should switch from marriage to marriage-as-a-service.
Man: What?
Panel 2:
Woman: Right now you make a one-time promise of loyalty and kindness. Why not pay as you go with the option to cancel every 30 days?
Panel 3:
Man: That seems stressful.
Woman: Not if you're ready to upgrade to PREMIUM WIFE.
Panel 4:
Man: I love you though. I love you just as you are.
Woman: Then keep your current FREE plan! Basic wife! Good choice!
Panel 5:
(The man looks away, silent.)
Panel 6:
(The woman smiles silently.)
Panel 7:
Woman (off-panel): So how's your day going?
Panel 8:
(The man is shown in profile. The woman stands holding up a smartphone whose screen is plastered with ads — a Temu "Must Go Clearance Sale," a "Who Are The Top 15 Most Female Athletes" listicle, and a "Top Nephrologists... Do's and Don'ts for your kidney number... read this" ad.)
Votey:
(Close-up on the man's face. A speech bubble points to him.)
Man: The NSFW version of wife is available on Patreon.
Woman: I think we should switch from marriage to marriage-as-a-service.
Man: What?
Panel 2:
Woman: Right now you make a one-time promise of loyalty and kindness. Why not pay as you go with the option to cancel every 30 days?
Panel 3:
Man: That seems stressful.
Woman: Not if you're ready to upgrade to PREMIUM WIFE.
Panel 4:
Man: I love you though. I love you just as you are.
Woman: Then keep your current FREE plan! Basic wife! Good choice!
Panel 5:
(The man looks away, silent.)
Panel 6:
(The woman smiles silently.)
Panel 7:
Woman (off-panel): So how's your day going?
Panel 8:
(The man is shown in profile. The woman stands holding up a smartphone whose screen is plastered with ads — a Temu "Must Go Clearance Sale," a "Who Are The Top 15 Most Female Athletes" listicle, and a "Top Nephrologists... Do's and Don'ts for your kidney number... read this" ad.)
Votey:
(Close-up on the man's face. A speech bubble points to him.)
Man: The NSFW version of wife is available on Patreon.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic in muted green panels. A woman with curly orange hair tells a skeptical bearded man that they should switch from marriage to "marriage-as-a-service" — instead of a one-time promise of loyalty and kindness, he could pay as you go and cancel every 30 days. He says that seems stressful; she says not if he upgrades to "PREMIUM WIFE." He says he loves her just as she is, and she cheerfully tells him to keep his current FREE plan: "Basic wife! Good choice!" The two then stand in silence. She asks "So how's your day going?" while holding up a smartphone whose screen is completely covered in spammy ads (a Temu clearance sale, a clickbait athletes listicle, a kidney/nephrologist ad) — the visual joke being that the "free plan" wife now serves him intrusive advertising. In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the man's face with a speech bubble reading: "The NSFW version of wife is available on Patreon."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.