ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

Pandemic

Original: Pandemic on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
A boy with flame-like orange hair stands in a grassy field with his arms spread wide, shouting toward a girl in the distance.
Boy: HA! NO TOUCH REQUIRED! JUST BY LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION I HAVE INFECTED YOU ALL!

In the foreground, a man's face is partly visible at the right edge, watching with a worried expression.

Caption (below panel): Later, the boys demanded the girls shut down the Cooties Gain of Function research center.

Votey:
A close-up of a person's face looking worried/uneasy, with a speech bubble.
Speaker: DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE "COOTIES LAB LEAK" THEORY.

Alt text

A two-panel SMBC comic. Main panel: in a grassy field under a blue sky, a boy with spiky orange flame-like hair stands with arms thrown wide, yelling toward a girl in the distance: "HA! NO TOUCH REQUIRED! JUST BY LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION I HAVE INFECTED YOU ALL!" A man's worried face peeks in at the right edge. A caption below reads: "Later, the boys demanded the girls shut down the Cooties Gain of Function research center." The joke applies pandemic-era gain-of-function and biolab rhetoric to the childhood game of cooties. Votey (aftercomic): a black-and-white close-up of a person's uneasy, sweating face saying, "DO NOT ASK ABOUT THE 'COOTIES LAB LEAK' THEORY."

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.