Red
Original: Red on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bearded man (the woodsman): "Woodsman? A wolf is dressed as my grandmother and it told me to come closer so it could eat me!"
Panel 2:
Bearded man (reacting, holding an axe): "WHAT?!"
Panel 3:
A bystander pointing at the girl in the red hood: "EVERYONE! THIS GIRL SPEAKS WITH BEASTS!"
Panel 4:
Three figures pointing accusingly at the girl in red: "WITCH!" "WITCH!" "WITCH!"
Panel 5:
Girl in the red hood (small figure in a dark forest): "BOY. THE PROBLEM WAS MORE STRUCTURAL THAN I REALIZED."
Votey:
A smiling person engulfed/surrounded by flames: "WELP, GUESS IT'S TIME TO ADMIT I'M SECRETLY THE IMMORTAL BRIDE OF SATAN."
Bearded man (the woodsman): "Woodsman? A wolf is dressed as my grandmother and it told me to come closer so it could eat me!"
Panel 2:
Bearded man (reacting, holding an axe): "WHAT?!"
Panel 3:
A bystander pointing at the girl in the red hood: "EVERYONE! THIS GIRL SPEAKS WITH BEASTS!"
Panel 4:
Three figures pointing accusingly at the girl in red: "WITCH!" "WITCH!" "WITCH!"
Panel 5:
Girl in the red hood (small figure in a dark forest): "BOY. THE PROBLEM WAS MORE STRUCTURAL THAN I REALIZED."
Votey:
A smiling person engulfed/surrounded by flames: "WELP, GUESS IT'S TIME TO ADMIT I'M SECRETLY THE IMMORTAL BRIDE OF SATAN."
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic riffing on Little Red Riding Hood. Panel 1: A girl in a red hooded cloak tells a bearded woodsman, "Woodsman? A wolf is dressed as my grandmother and it told me to come closer so it could eat me!" Panel 2: The woodsman, axe in hand, recoils and shouts "WHAT?!" Panel 3: Instead of helping, a villager points at the red-hooded girl and yells, "EVERYONE! THIS GIRL SPEAKS WITH BEASTS!" Panel 4: Three villagers point at her, chanting "WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!" Panel 5: The tiny red-hooded girl stands alone in a dark forest and deadpans, "BOY. THE PROBLEM WAS MORE STRUCTURAL THAN I REALIZED." The joke: reporting the talking wolf gets her branded a witch rather than rescued. Votey (aftercomic): A calmly smiling person sits surrounded by flames, saying, "WELP, GUESS IT'S TIME TO ADMIT I'M SECRETLY THE IMMORTAL BRIDE OF SATAN." — leaning into the witch accusation since denial is pointless.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.