Fine
Original: Fine on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (two figures sitting on a beach at sunset):
Figure 1: Do you think AI will replace human companionship?
Figure 2: Nah. In fact, we'll value humans more. Think about it.
Panel 2 (narration over a smiling child holding a juice box and a chocolate milk):
Narration: When you're a kid, you enjoy fruit punch and chocolate milk, because they're objectively tasty.
Child: I like it because the flavor is a good flavor!
Panel 3 (narration over a haggard man holding a cup):
Narration: Later, you graduate to coffee and beer.
Man: Mmm. Concentrated bean-char. Just wish it were more carbonized because I am hung over from all that sour bread-liquid. AM I IN THE IN-GROUP NOW?
Panel 4 (narration over two men at a table):
Narration: The final stage is the most esteemed.
Man: I paid 200 dollars for this liquid that strips the protective mucus layers from my throat and stomach, but it was worth it. You weren't kidding about the notes of leather and anus!
Other man: Like an angel vomited on your tongue, isn't it?
Panel 5 (narration; a robot with a green-glowing screen face stands with a man, while another man speaks and a suited man gestures):
Narration: Human relationships will be just the same.
Man (to robot): Pfft. You're married to someone with perfect patience, unwavering affection, and no seething resentment? Are you a CHILD?
Voice off-panel: Stop talking, Frank, you're boring people again.
Panel 6 (the suited man gestures toward the man with the robot):
Suited man: See that is a MAN'S partner.
Panel 7 (a couple silhouetted against a sunset, blonde woman and a man):
Voice: Aww, that's so beautiful.
Panel 8 (the blonde woman and the man face each other, red background):
Woman: You'll always be my little Turkish coffee.
Man: You'll always be MY little peated whisky.
Panel 9 (two small figures standing far apart, dark red background, speech balloons descending):
Figure: ...Why'd you get quiet for a second?
Figure: I didn't?
Figure: You're fucking him with your mind aren't you?
Figure: Please not in public.
Figure: Then where?
Figure: Oh my god.
Figure (tiny): That's it? That's your response?
Votey:
Narration/thought: Will the hatemail come from the coffee people, the beer people, the whiskey people, or the clanker-crankers?
(Below: a person stands with a small thought/sketch of a robot-like figure above them.)
Figure 1: Do you think AI will replace human companionship?
Figure 2: Nah. In fact, we'll value humans more. Think about it.
Panel 2 (narration over a smiling child holding a juice box and a chocolate milk):
Narration: When you're a kid, you enjoy fruit punch and chocolate milk, because they're objectively tasty.
Child: I like it because the flavor is a good flavor!
Panel 3 (narration over a haggard man holding a cup):
Narration: Later, you graduate to coffee and beer.
Man: Mmm. Concentrated bean-char. Just wish it were more carbonized because I am hung over from all that sour bread-liquid. AM I IN THE IN-GROUP NOW?
Panel 4 (narration over two men at a table):
Narration: The final stage is the most esteemed.
Man: I paid 200 dollars for this liquid that strips the protective mucus layers from my throat and stomach, but it was worth it. You weren't kidding about the notes of leather and anus!
Other man: Like an angel vomited on your tongue, isn't it?
Panel 5 (narration; a robot with a green-glowing screen face stands with a man, while another man speaks and a suited man gestures):
Narration: Human relationships will be just the same.
Man (to robot): Pfft. You're married to someone with perfect patience, unwavering affection, and no seething resentment? Are you a CHILD?
Voice off-panel: Stop talking, Frank, you're boring people again.
Panel 6 (the suited man gestures toward the man with the robot):
Suited man: See that is a MAN'S partner.
Panel 7 (a couple silhouetted against a sunset, blonde woman and a man):
Voice: Aww, that's so beautiful.
Panel 8 (the blonde woman and the man face each other, red background):
Woman: You'll always be my little Turkish coffee.
Man: You'll always be MY little peated whisky.
Panel 9 (two small figures standing far apart, dark red background, speech balloons descending):
Figure: ...Why'd you get quiet for a second?
Figure: I didn't?
Figure: You're fucking him with your mind aren't you?
Figure: Please not in public.
Figure: Then where?
Figure: Oh my god.
Figure (tiny): That's it? That's your response?
Votey:
Narration/thought: Will the hatemail come from the coffee people, the beer people, the whiskey people, or the clanker-crankers?
(Below: a person stands with a small thought/sketch of a robot-like figure above them.)
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic about AI and human relationships. Panel 1: two people sit on a beach at sunset. One asks if AI will replace human companionship; the other says no, we'll value humans more, and to think about it. Panel 2: a smiling child holding a juice box and chocolate milk; narration says as a kid you enjoy fruit punch and chocolate milk because they're objectively tasty; the child says they like it because the flavor is a good flavor. Panel 3: a haggard, hungover-looking man with a cup; narration says later you graduate to coffee and beer; he rambles about concentrated bean-char and sour bread-liquid and asks 'AM I IN THE IN-GROUP NOW?' Panel 4: two men at a table; narration calls this the most esteemed stage; one brags he paid 200 dollars for a liquid that strips the mucus from his throat and stomach but it was worth it for the 'notes of leather and anus'; the other says it's like an angel vomited on your tongue. Panel 5: narration says human relationships will be just the same; a robot with a glowing green screen-face stands beside a man, while a man mocks someone for being married to a partner with perfect patience and no resentment, calling him a child, and an off-panel voice tells 'Frank' to stop boring people. Panel 6: a suited man gestures and says THAT is a man's partner. Panels 7 and 8: a blonde woman and a man embrace at sunset; a voice calls it beautiful; she says he'll always be her little Turkish coffee, he says she'll always be his little peated whisky. Panel 9: two tiny figures stand far apart in the dark; descending speech balloons read: why'd you get quiet for a second; I didn't; you're fucking him with your mind aren't you; please not in public; then where; oh my god; and in tiny text, that's it, that's your response? The votey shows a person with a small robot sketch above their head, thinking: 'Will the hatemail come from the coffee people, the beer people, the whiskey people, or the clanker-crankers?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.