Pray
Original: Pray on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man kneeling beside a bed in prayer, silhouetted.
Man (Steve): "Dear God, it's Steve. I'm... having lustful thoughts again."
Panel 2: A bald figure (God) sits on the edge of the bed.
God: "We've talked about this. No praying while wearing a thong."
Panel 3: Close-up of the man, bald and shirtless, wearing a thong strap visible on his hip.
Man (Steve): "Be a shame if I... deserved a SCOURGING."
Panel 4: God stands, exasperated, while the man sticks out his tongue suggestively.
God: "Dammit, man, I don't even know which afterlife would punish you!"
Man (Steve): "Smite me, Lord! Oh, smite my ass like a firstborn Egyptian child!"
Votey:
The man speaks in a large speech bubble.
Man (Steve): "Can you make it so there's a great earthquake, and the sun becomes black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon becomes as blood? I'll put on some music."
Man (Steve): "Dear God, it's Steve. I'm... having lustful thoughts again."
Panel 2: A bald figure (God) sits on the edge of the bed.
God: "We've talked about this. No praying while wearing a thong."
Panel 3: Close-up of the man, bald and shirtless, wearing a thong strap visible on his hip.
Man (Steve): "Be a shame if I... deserved a SCOURGING."
Panel 4: God stands, exasperated, while the man sticks out his tongue suggestively.
God: "Dammit, man, I don't even know which afterlife would punish you!"
Man (Steve): "Smite me, Lord! Oh, smite my ass like a firstborn Egyptian child!"
Votey:
The man speaks in a large speech bubble.
Man (Steve): "Can you make it so there's a great earthquake, and the sun becomes black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon becomes as blood? I'll put on some music."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a man kneeling at his bedside in prayer says, "Dear God, it's Steve. I'm... having lustful thoughts again." Panel 2: a bald figure representing God, sitting on the bed, replies, "We've talked about this. No praying while wearing a thong." Panel 3: a close-up of the bald, shirtless man wearing a thong strap leers and says, "Be a shame if I... deserved a SCOURGING." Panel 4: God stands up exasperated and shouts, "Dammit, man, I don't even know which afterlife would punish you!" while the man sticks out his tongue and begs, "Smite me, Lord! Oh, smite my ass like a firstborn Egyptian child!" The joke is a man turning divine punishment into a kink fantasy, layering Biblical plague references into BDSM dirty talk. Votey: the man, in one big speech bubble, asks God, "Can you make it so there's a great earthquake, and the sun becomes black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon becomes as blood? I'll put on some music." -- escalating the apocalyptic imagery of Revelation into elaborate mood-setting for a hookup.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.