Gaze
Original: Gaze on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: Why do men have so many weird fetishes?
Man (with glasses): Oh, that's just science.
Panel 2:
Man: During sex, the vast majority of men, in the great thinking universe, harness their thoughts in order to last longer.
Panel 3:
Man: Meanwhile, pornography and multiplied performance expectations, leading to ever-more, this drift. As it were, at the bridge.
Panel 4:
Man: By the time he is 75, the average heterosexual man has spent ten hours thinking about thinking actively about un-sexual experiences, actively thinking about conventionally attractive women.
Panel 5:
Man: I am not alone when I tell you I cannot reach climax without my grandmother's pies drawn on a pumpkin.
Panel 6:
Woman: So, when people talk about the male gaze...
Man: There should be way more pumpkins and pies!
Votey:
A man's face in profile, eyes closed, speaking with an open mouth.
Man: BIG, JIBBLY JUBBLY CLOWN FEET.
Woman: Why do men have so many weird fetishes?
Man (with glasses): Oh, that's just science.
Panel 2:
Man: During sex, the vast majority of men, in the great thinking universe, harness their thoughts in order to last longer.
Panel 3:
Man: Meanwhile, pornography and multiplied performance expectations, leading to ever-more, this drift. As it were, at the bridge.
Panel 4:
Man: By the time he is 75, the average heterosexual man has spent ten hours thinking about thinking actively about un-sexual experiences, actively thinking about conventionally attractive women.
Panel 5:
Man: I am not alone when I tell you I cannot reach climax without my grandmother's pies drawn on a pumpkin.
Panel 6:
Woman: So, when people talk about the male gaze...
Man: There should be way more pumpkins and pies!
Votey:
A man's face in profile, eyes closed, speaking with an open mouth.
Man: BIG, JIBBLY JUBBLY CLOWN FEET.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A woman asks a bespectacled man why men have so many weird fetishes, and he replies that it's 'just science.' Across the next several panels he launches into an increasingly absurd, pseudo-scientific lecture: men supposedly redirect their thoughts during sex to last longer, escalating performance expectations from pornography cause their minds to drift to ever stranger un-sexual images, and by age 75 the average man has spent hours fixating on bizarre mental pictures. He confesses he cannot reach climax without picturing his grandmother's pies drawn on a pumpkin. When the woman mentions 'the male gaze,' he concludes there 'should be way more pumpkins and pies.' Votey (aftercomic): a close-up profile of a man's face, eyes shut, blissfully blurting out the words 'BIG, JIBBLY JUBBLY CLOWN FEET' — another of the ridiculous mental images, delivering the punchline that the rationalized fetishes are just nonsense.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.