Original: Print on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): FACT: "GOO PRINTERS" USE THERMOPOLYMERS TO WHICH HEAT IS APPLIED IN SPECIFIC PATTERNS TO FORM SHAPES.
[A nozzle deposits red material that has formed into a pointed, crown-like shape inside a gray vat.]
Panel 2 (caption): FACT: BLOOD UNDERGOES A SIMILAR PROCESS CALLED "THERMAL COAGULATION," WHEREIN IT IRREVERSIBLY SOLIDIFIES AT SUFFICIENT TEMPERATURE.
[A bright red blood cell on the left, a yellow arrow labeled "HEAT!", and a dark, coagulated brown blob on the right.]
Panel 3 (caption): FACT: ULTRASONIC HEATING ALLOWS ENERGY TO BE DELIVERED TO PRECISE LOCATIONS INSIDE FLUIDS.
[An ultrasonic emitter focuses yellow waves to a single bright point deep inside a translucent block of fluid.]
Panel 4 (caption): FROM WHICH IT FOLLOWS: COUNTRIES COMMITTING ASSASSINATIONS COULD LEAVE THE MOST AMAZING CALLING CARD.
Doctor (an older person in a white coat and glasses, examining a patient): SUDDEN STROKE. AND HIS BLOOD VESSELS ARE FILLED WITH CLOTS. THEY'RE... IN THE SHAPE OF...
Second person (in a white coat): THE CANADIAN MAPLE LEAF?
Votey:
[A doctor figure stands over a patient lying down, with a speech bubble.]
Doctor: IS IT CRASS TO SAY I SUDDENLY GO WATCH TO HOCKEY? [text appears scrambled, reading roughly: "IS IT CRASS TO SAY I SUDDENLY GO WATCH HOCKEY?"]
[A nozzle deposits red material that has formed into a pointed, crown-like shape inside a gray vat.]
Panel 2 (caption): FACT: BLOOD UNDERGOES A SIMILAR PROCESS CALLED "THERMAL COAGULATION," WHEREIN IT IRREVERSIBLY SOLIDIFIES AT SUFFICIENT TEMPERATURE.
[A bright red blood cell on the left, a yellow arrow labeled "HEAT!", and a dark, coagulated brown blob on the right.]
Panel 3 (caption): FACT: ULTRASONIC HEATING ALLOWS ENERGY TO BE DELIVERED TO PRECISE LOCATIONS INSIDE FLUIDS.
[An ultrasonic emitter focuses yellow waves to a single bright point deep inside a translucent block of fluid.]
Panel 4 (caption): FROM WHICH IT FOLLOWS: COUNTRIES COMMITTING ASSASSINATIONS COULD LEAVE THE MOST AMAZING CALLING CARD.
Doctor (an older person in a white coat and glasses, examining a patient): SUDDEN STROKE. AND HIS BLOOD VESSELS ARE FILLED WITH CLOTS. THEY'RE... IN THE SHAPE OF...
Second person (in a white coat): THE CANADIAN MAPLE LEAF?
Votey:
[A doctor figure stands over a patient lying down, with a speech bubble.]
Doctor: IS IT CRASS TO SAY I SUDDENLY GO WATCH TO HOCKEY? [text appears scrambled, reading roughly: "IS IT CRASS TO SAY I SUDDENLY GO WATCH HOCKEY?"]
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic presenting fake "facts" that build to a joke. Panel 1 caption: goo printers use thermopolymers heated in specific patterns to form shapes; a nozzle deposits red material shaped like a pointed crown into a vat. Panel 2 caption: blood undergoes a similar process, thermal coagulation, irreversibly solidifying at high temperature; a red blood cell turns into a dark coagulated blob via a yellow "HEAT!" arrow. Panel 3 caption: ultrasonic heating delivers energy to precise points inside fluids; waves focus to a single bright spot inside a clear block. Panel 4 caption: therefore, countries committing assassinations could leave an amazing calling card. A doctor examining a patient says the man had a sudden stroke and his blood vessels are filled with clots shaped like... and a colleague asks, "The Canadian maple leaf?" The implication: an assassin used ultrasonic heat to clot the victim's blood into a flag-shaped signature. Votey aftercomic: a roughly drawn doctor over a patient says, "Is it crass to say I suddenly go watch hockey?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.