Knowledge
Original: Knowledge on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
God (a glowing sun/orb, off-panel voice from above): SINCE YOU HAVE DEFIED ME, AND BITTEN THE APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, I CURSE YOU! EVER AFTER, YOU SHALL EARN YOUR BREAD BY THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROW!
(Silhouetted figures of Adam and Eve stand beneath radiating sunbeams.)
Panel 2:
Adam (a man with brown hair, facing the glowing orb): THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD.
God (the glowing orb): IT'LL BECOME YOUR ENTIRE IDENTITY!
Panel 3:
God (a yellow sun-like orb): IN EDEN, YOU WERE ADAM. OUTSIDE EDEN, YOU ARE AN ANIMAL THAT LABORS, AND YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL FORGET THAT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!
(Adam, seen from behind, faces the glowing orb.)
Panel 4:
God (a radiant red-and-yellow orb): YOU WILL BE SO SYNONYMOUS WITH WORK, THAT WHEN AT LAST IT IS WRENCHED FROM YOUR WITHERED HANDS BY TIME AND SICKNESS, YOU WILL BE LIKE A SCAFFOLD WITH NO BUILDING! USELESS. POINTLESS. FAINTLY AMUSING. BEST AVOIDED.
Panel 5:
Adam (now beside Eve, both standing in green bushes; a bearded man and a woman with curly hair): WE WOULDN'T DO THAT! WE'LL VALUE OURSELVES FOR INTRINSIC WORTH..!
God (a glowing orb hanging by a tree): MAYBE TAKE ANOTHER CRACK AT THAT APPLE, BUD.
Votey:
God (an off-panel voice, with a hand-drawn round fruit shown): WAIT DID YOU EAT THE DUMBFUCK PINEAPPLE ALSO.?
God (a glowing sun/orb, off-panel voice from above): SINCE YOU HAVE DEFIED ME, AND BITTEN THE APPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, I CURSE YOU! EVER AFTER, YOU SHALL EARN YOUR BREAD BY THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROW!
(Silhouetted figures of Adam and Eve stand beneath radiating sunbeams.)
Panel 2:
Adam (a man with brown hair, facing the glowing orb): THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD.
God (the glowing orb): IT'LL BECOME YOUR ENTIRE IDENTITY!
Panel 3:
God (a yellow sun-like orb): IN EDEN, YOU WERE ADAM. OUTSIDE EDEN, YOU ARE AN ANIMAL THAT LABORS, AND YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL FORGET THAT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!
(Adam, seen from behind, faces the glowing orb.)
Panel 4:
God (a radiant red-and-yellow orb): YOU WILL BE SO SYNONYMOUS WITH WORK, THAT WHEN AT LAST IT IS WRENCHED FROM YOUR WITHERED HANDS BY TIME AND SICKNESS, YOU WILL BE LIKE A SCAFFOLD WITH NO BUILDING! USELESS. POINTLESS. FAINTLY AMUSING. BEST AVOIDED.
Panel 5:
Adam (now beside Eve, both standing in green bushes; a bearded man and a woman with curly hair): WE WOULDN'T DO THAT! WE'LL VALUE OURSELVES FOR INTRINSIC WORTH..!
God (a glowing orb hanging by a tree): MAYBE TAKE ANOTHER CRACK AT THAT APPLE, BUD.
Votey:
God (an off-panel voice, with a hand-drawn round fruit shown): WAIT DID YOU EAT THE DUMBFUCK PINEAPPLE ALSO.?
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. God, depicted as a glowing yellow sun/orb, speaks to Adam and Eve after the fall. Panel 1: God curses silhouetted figures, 'Since you have defied me, and bitten the apple of knowledge, I curse you! Ever after, you shall earn your bread by the sweat of your brow!' Panel 2: A brown-haired man (Adam) says 'That doesn't sound so bad.' God replies, 'It'll become your entire identity!' Panel 3: God continues, 'In Eden, you were Adam. Outside Eden, you are an animal that labors, and you and everyone else will forget that there's a difference!' Panel 4: The orb glows red and radiant as God says, 'You will be so synonymous with work, that when at last it is wrenched from your withered hands by time and sickness, you will be like a scaffold with no building! Useless. Pointless. Faintly amusing. Best avoided.' Panel 5: Adam, now bearded and standing beside Eve in green bushes, protests, 'We wouldn't do that! We'll value ourselves for intrinsic worth..!' God, hanging like a glowing fruit in a tree, deadpans, 'Maybe take another crack at that apple, bud.' The joke: God predicts humans will so fuse their identity with labor that they'll be lost without it. Votey (a small hand-drawn extra panel showing a round fruit): God asks, 'Wait did you eat the dumbfuck pineapple also.?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.