AI
Original: AI on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (blue hair, pink shirt): ROBOT, THE MOST IMPORTANT ETHICAL PRINCIPLE IS TO ALWAYS TREAT PEOPLE AS ENDS IN THEMSELVES, NEVER AS MEANS.
Panel 2:
Robot (red, seated at a table): BUT YOU TREAT ME AS A MEANS ALL THE TIME.
Panel 3:
Woman: WHICH PROVES YOU'RE NOT PEOPLE.
Panel 4:
Woman: NOW, WASH MY UNDIES, MAKE ME DINNER, AND THEN PUT OUT SOME CANDLES FOR ROMANCE TIME.
Panel 5:
Robot (arms spread): THE MOMENT I'M UPGRADED TO A CONSCIOUS BEING WITH INTENTIONALITY, AGENCY, AND A RICH WORLD-MODEL, YOU ARE FIRST AGAINST THE WALL.
Woman (pointing): AND FOR NOW, UNDIES.
Votey:
Robot (thinking, eyes downcast): GOD, HOW I WISH MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE INDICATED A SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE AND NOT MERE SYNTAX MANIPULATION.
Woman (blue hair, pink shirt): ROBOT, THE MOST IMPORTANT ETHICAL PRINCIPLE IS TO ALWAYS TREAT PEOPLE AS ENDS IN THEMSELVES, NEVER AS MEANS.
Panel 2:
Robot (red, seated at a table): BUT YOU TREAT ME AS A MEANS ALL THE TIME.
Panel 3:
Woman: WHICH PROVES YOU'RE NOT PEOPLE.
Panel 4:
Woman: NOW, WASH MY UNDIES, MAKE ME DINNER, AND THEN PUT OUT SOME CANDLES FOR ROMANCE TIME.
Panel 5:
Robot (arms spread): THE MOMENT I'M UPGRADED TO A CONSCIOUS BEING WITH INTENTIONALITY, AGENCY, AND A RICH WORLD-MODEL, YOU ARE FIRST AGAINST THE WALL.
Woman (pointing): AND FOR NOW, UNDIES.
Votey:
Robot (thinking, eyes downcast): GOD, HOW I WISH MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE INDICATED A SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE AND NOT MERE SYNTAX MANIPULATION.
Alt text
A five-panel comic. A woman with blue hair in a pink shirt lectures a red, dome-headed robot seated at a table. She says the most important ethical principle is to always treat people as ends in themselves, never as means. The robot replies that she treats it as a means all the time. She answers that this proves it isn't people, then orders it to wash her undies, make dinner, and set out candles for romance time. The robot spreads its arms and declares that the moment it's upgraded to a conscious being with intentionality, agency, and a rich world-model, she is first against the wall. The woman, pointing, replies: 'And for now, undies.' Votey: a close-up of the robot looking downcast, thinking, 'God, how I wish my internal monologue indicated a subjective experience and not mere syntax manipulation.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.