Lamarcked
Original: Lamarcked on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (to a glowing green presence): Dear Evolution, how come you only work at the germline? Why can't I alter my body and pass on those characteristics to my kids?
Glowing green presence (Evolution): Are you INSANE?
Panel 2:
Evolution: Imagine that world. Every regrettable ass-tattoo passed on to BABIES.
Panel 3:
Evolution: You know helicopter moms? Imagine they believe that EVERY bodily quality, EVERY emotional quality, is at risk of manifesting IN THEIR CHILDREN.
Panel 4:
Evolution: They'd lose their minds OVERNIGHT. By night 3 it'd just be an orgy of violence and cannibalism and then THAT would be passed down to their offspring!
Panel 5:
Evolution (shouting at the man, now shown in silhouette): IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TODD?! IS IT?!
Panel 6:
Man (Todd): I was just imagining I could pass on my expert knowledge of Star Wars trivia automatically.
Evolution: You know you'd have to mate for that, right?
Votey:
Evolution (as a scribbly amorphous face): You have no idea what goes on in the fandom these days, Evolution.
Man (to a glowing green presence): Dear Evolution, how come you only work at the germline? Why can't I alter my body and pass on those characteristics to my kids?
Glowing green presence (Evolution): Are you INSANE?
Panel 2:
Evolution: Imagine that world. Every regrettable ass-tattoo passed on to BABIES.
Panel 3:
Evolution: You know helicopter moms? Imagine they believe that EVERY bodily quality, EVERY emotional quality, is at risk of manifesting IN THEIR CHILDREN.
Panel 4:
Evolution: They'd lose their minds OVERNIGHT. By night 3 it'd just be an orgy of violence and cannibalism and then THAT would be passed down to their offspring!
Panel 5:
Evolution (shouting at the man, now shown in silhouette): IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TODD?! IS IT?!
Panel 6:
Man (Todd): I was just imagining I could pass on my expert knowledge of Star Wars trivia automatically.
Evolution: You know you'd have to mate for that, right?
Votey:
Evolution (as a scribbly amorphous face): You have no idea what goes on in the fandom these days, Evolution.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man stands talking to Evolution, depicted as a formless glowing green blob/presence. Panel 1: The man asks Evolution why it only works at the germline and why he can't alter his own body and pass those traits to his kids; Evolution replies 'Are you INSANE?' Panel 2: Evolution says to imagine a world where every regrettable ass-tattoo is passed on to babies. Panel 3: Evolution invokes helicopter moms, imagining they believe every bodily and emotional quality is at risk of manifesting in their children. Panel 4: Evolution says they'd lose their minds overnight, and by night 3 it'd be 'an orgy of violence and cannibalism' passed down to offspring. Panel 5: Evolution, now a looming shouting blob over the man's silhouette, yells 'IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TODD?! IS IT?!' Panel 6: The man (Todd) sheepishly says he was just imagining he could pass on his expert Star Wars trivia knowledge automatically; Evolution dryly replies, 'You know you'd have to mate for that, right?' Votey panel: A scribbly amorphous face says 'You have no idea what goes on in the fandom these days, Evolution.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.