Ivy League
Original: Ivy League on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man in a suit stands at a podium, gesturing, addressing a seated audience shown in silhouette.
Speaker (man at podium): "FOLKS, TELL Y'WHAT I AM *PLUMB TIRED* OF THESE *IVY LEAGUE* ECONOMISTS TELLIN' US WHAT IS AND WHAT AIN'T!"
Panel 2 (left): The same man speaks.
Speaker: "FACT O' THE MATTER IS WHEN YER RECKONIN' UP AN ECONOMY... WELL, THAT DON'T LEND ITSELF TO NO CLOSED-FORM DIFF'RENTIAL EQUATIONS, NO SIR!"
Panel 2 (right): A bespectacled man among the audience responds.
Speaker (audience man): "IF WE HAD A LICK O' SENSE, WE'D SAY BY GUM THAR O' WORLD'S MESSIER THAN A WORM-MULLER COME SPRINGTIME AND WE BETTER JUS' ACCEPT THE ROLE O' COMPLEXITY IN CHAOTIC SYSTEMS, Y'HEAR?"
Panel 3: The man at the podium continues.
Speaker: "FRIENDS, WE GOTTA PUT OUR DOLLARS AND CENTS IN A BIG OL' COMPUTIN' CLUSTER, START US UP A WHOPPER OF AN AGENT-BASED MODEL, START PREDICTIN' WHAT'S COMIN' 'STEAD O' CHASIN' TAILS O' BEHAVIOR THAT DON'T EXIST NOWAYS!"
Panel 4: A bespectacled audience member responds.
Speaker (audience man): "WE LIKED THE PART WHERE YA YELLED ABOUT EXPERTS IN A FOLKSY ACCENT, BUT NOT THE PART WHERE YA PROPOSED A SOLUTION THAT MIGHT WORK AND DIDN'T INVOLVE HURTING ENEMIES."
Panel 5: The man at the podium looks downcast.
Speaker: "AW, CORN-SHUCKS 'N SASSAFRAS!"
Votey:
A man with a worried/resigned expression speaks.
Speaker (man): "*SIGH* THE PEOPLE THE TV SAID ARE BAD WILL LOSE SOMETHING OR OTHER."
Off-panel reply (in a speech bubble): "yayyy"
Speaker (man at podium): "FOLKS, TELL Y'WHAT I AM *PLUMB TIRED* OF THESE *IVY LEAGUE* ECONOMISTS TELLIN' US WHAT IS AND WHAT AIN'T!"
Panel 2 (left): The same man speaks.
Speaker: "FACT O' THE MATTER IS WHEN YER RECKONIN' UP AN ECONOMY... WELL, THAT DON'T LEND ITSELF TO NO CLOSED-FORM DIFF'RENTIAL EQUATIONS, NO SIR!"
Panel 2 (right): A bespectacled man among the audience responds.
Speaker (audience man): "IF WE HAD A LICK O' SENSE, WE'D SAY BY GUM THAR O' WORLD'S MESSIER THAN A WORM-MULLER COME SPRINGTIME AND WE BETTER JUS' ACCEPT THE ROLE O' COMPLEXITY IN CHAOTIC SYSTEMS, Y'HEAR?"
Panel 3: The man at the podium continues.
Speaker: "FRIENDS, WE GOTTA PUT OUR DOLLARS AND CENTS IN A BIG OL' COMPUTIN' CLUSTER, START US UP A WHOPPER OF AN AGENT-BASED MODEL, START PREDICTIN' WHAT'S COMIN' 'STEAD O' CHASIN' TAILS O' BEHAVIOR THAT DON'T EXIST NOWAYS!"
Panel 4: A bespectacled audience member responds.
Speaker (audience man): "WE LIKED THE PART WHERE YA YELLED ABOUT EXPERTS IN A FOLKSY ACCENT, BUT NOT THE PART WHERE YA PROPOSED A SOLUTION THAT MIGHT WORK AND DIDN'T INVOLVE HURTING ENEMIES."
Panel 5: The man at the podium looks downcast.
Speaker: "AW, CORN-SHUCKS 'N SASSAFRAS!"
Votey:
A man with a worried/resigned expression speaks.
Speaker (man): "*SIGH* THE PEOPLE THE TV SAID ARE BAD WILL LOSE SOMETHING OR OTHER."
Off-panel reply (in a speech bubble): "yayyy"
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A man in a suit stands at a podium speaking in an exaggerated folksy country accent to a silhouetted audience. He declares he is "plumb tired" of Ivy League economists telling people what is and isn't, and argues that an economy doesn't lend itself to closed-form differential equations. A bespectacled audience member agrees, saying in the same accent that if they had sense they'd accept the role of complexity in chaotic systems. The podium man proposes pooling money into a big computing cluster to build an agent-based model to predict what's coming instead of chasing behaviors that don't exist. An audience member then flatly replies: they liked the part where he yelled about experts in a folksy accent, but not the part where he proposed a solution that might work and didn't involve hurting enemies. The crestfallen speaker says "Aw, corn-shucks 'n sassafras!" The joke: a folksy populist crowd loves anti-expert ranting but turns on him the moment he offers a genuine, non-vindictive solution. Votey: A man with a resigned expression sighs, "The people the TV said are bad will lose something or other," and an off-panel voice cheers "yayyy" — mocking how vague, vindictive predictions are what actually draw applause.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.